Just thought I would catch everyone up...

[survivorwatcher]

...as to why I haven't been around so much.

The last few weeks have been complicated. My son decided he wanted to go live with his dad. Which was hard enough...he has never stayed with his dad for more than a few weeks at a time. Except for a short few months last year that didn't work out so well. My son has been having a hard time as a teenager so far. He has had a few episodes with cutting, been caught smoking, and been expelled from school for "threating a teacher". He has a journal that he uses to keep from talking so much in class, and he writes some very dark things in it. He writes songs, poetry, and just random thoughts. Some of the random thoughts got him in trouble. He had one teacher that he really didn't get along with...and wrote in his journal "kill Mrs. Brown". She found it and he was expelled. The district provided a teacher to come to the house to teach him since there was only a few weeks till the end of school. So he did pass the ninth grade...barely.

After all that...my son goes to his dads and then his dad tells me he is moving to Asheville, NC. Which he knew before Gareth went there but he didn't tell me. Now he tells me he is getting married. ( He has told me this with all of his past 4 girl friends!!) Which really means he is moving to Asheville to be near this women and probably move in with her. I'm sure she is nice...Gareth seems to like her, which is good. But I really don't like the situation his dad puts Gareth in all the time. He has lived with more women than I can count on two hands in the last 10 yrs. And cheated on all of them...usually with Gareth around. So I'm afraid that Gareth's idea of a relationship is warped!

Then with all of that going on...my dad had a second heart attack. He is okay...mom was able to give him nitro glycerin tablets before the ambalence got here. He had to have surgery this time though to have a splint put into one of his arteries. I am not real sure how the surgery worked but it was apparently "beating heart" surgery, so they didn't have to stop his heart...which was good. But he now has a stitched area near the artery at the crease of his leg. If he moves wrong he could pull the stitches and would bleed out very quickly. He is not listening very well and it is driving my mom crazy. Mom and dad have a garden and now all of that falls on mom, as I am not able to help much either. Which upsets me a lot too.

So during the week that dad was in the hospital I tried my best to keep up the garden and take Gareth back and forth to his dads in Lexington (about 70 miles ).
Gareth did help me with the yard work...cutting grass, etc. But I don't drive alot and all the other too has left me very tired and just mentally and physically exhausted.
So I have been sleeping a lot and just avoiding things a lot. Trying really not to get to the point where I would have to go to the dr. or hospital to have a pain shot. Mom doesn't need any more on her.

So that is why I haven't been on the computer so much.

I hope things will get better soon. Maybe this will be the one his dad actually marries, and all of that will work out good. I really do hope so...it might be best for both of them. And my hands are tired now after typing all of this...but it feels good to have gotten it all out. Not looking for a pity party but all of you are always so supportive and caring, I wanted to tell you why I hadn't been around so much.

[Sunburntbeatle]

I have no word but I can give ya a cyber hug...

(((((((((((((((survivorwatcher)))))))))))))))))))))))

[frawniemae]

It sounds like you need a vacation from life! I hope everything works out for all involved. Try to get some good sleep and if you have clergy to talk to, that may help. I'll keep you and yours in my prayers.

[Slitter]

Hang in there Watcher. Man, you have been so busy and stressed all at once you probably don't know if you're coming or going. :hug2:

My dad had heart surgery and said the leg part hurt the most while healing. He oozed quite a bit from there too. It's take forever if I sent some but we used incontinent pads. He could sit on those w/o really noticing them and they would catch anything ooky so that it didn't get on the chair/bed/whatever. I could send you a few if you think he'd still need them in the week or so it would take for them to arrive. My old employer used to make them and I still have connections there who are willing to raid the sample room for me now and again. ;)

I think what they put in his artery was a stent in case you are trying to look it up and aren't finding it.

Not being a parent, I really don't know what to say about Gareth. I just hope he doesn't end up in an unstable environment.

:hug2: again. Can't blame you for wanting some downtime and some "me" time. Come back around when you can. Meanwhile, you'll be in our thoughts.

[Gabby]

I just want to add a cyber hug.

I hope someone will be able to reach Gareth and help him know how much he's loved.

:hug2:

[survivorwatcher]

Thanks everyone. And I knew the day would come when Gareth would want to be with his dad more....I just kinda hoped his dad would be more settled by then. Oh well, deal with what you get and make the best of it right. That's what I'm trying to do anyway.

And slitter, thanks but I think they have some of those, but I appreciate the thought. And your spelling is right I'm sure. I just spelled it how it sounded.

I should be around more now...just had to rest some. Good thing there were World Cup matches for me to watch all day...lol. Or I would have spent a fortune in PPV....lol. :biglaugh:

[patchiepoopoo]

Just want to let you know you, your son, and your dad are in my prayers. It is very hard when a child is in the middle, so he is most likely confused. In time I hope he can find his place in life and all will work out for the best for everyone.
I'm sorry to hear you have all this going on at once, and I hope your dad will recover soon.
:hug2:

[tahitisweetie]

Thinking of you too, Watcher.

This just goes to show, once again, that we really don't know what is going on in the lives of the people we chat with sometimes daily. It is nice to have this place as a sounding board. It helps keep us sane, when all around us, things don't seem to sane.

Just know you can come here anytime you need to talk and you'll get the support and encouragement you need to make it one more day.

Good luck!

[An-g_BB]

Ahh hon!!! Im sorry that so much is in chaos for you right now! i too will keep you in my thoughts n prayers! It sure sounds like you have quite a handful right now.
I dont know much but i do know that here you will find support and an outlet if need be.
Sending you hugs too!!! :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

[pocket]

:hug2: I'm sure all the strain, drama and changes are bad for your condition. I hope his dad will get him help there. It sounds like he needs it. Maybe this change will be positive for him....that what I hope and pray for. And I hope your stress lessens and you catch up on your rest so that your health improves.

[Fuel]

Adding my cyber hug. :hug2:

[WOODTURNER]

...Good ole' A A advice. Don't try to hold on to Gareth. He's old enough to decide what, with whom, and where his lifestyle will be most accepted---even though he is still working on that. More than likely, his Dad's lifestyle will give Gareth a good look at a life without discipline. He'll have to decide how he will live his life.

"Hold Close With Open Arms" is another good aphorism. Most likely, you will be better off--without your son to worry about. He'll make his own way because you have given him a good example of an honorable life.

Seek your own Peace. It is the most under-rated, yet most important commodity we can acquire.

[Kramer]

I am so sorry that you have so much stress put on you right now. I hope you feel better just sharing the load by venting. Sometimes that helps. Here is a :hug2: to help you through the rough times. I hope that things start to brighten up soon.

[Pepper]

It sounds like you have a good grasp on everything that's going on SW. Your son will either do fine with Dad and his lady friend, or he'll be back with you before you know it. You said you figured he's want to do this eventually, it's hard to let them go, but standing in his way would only make him bitter. As long as you feel he's going to a good situation, let him grow by this experience. I know it's hard, I've faced it myself with my daughter. She's 28 now and back living one town away from me (she only lasted a summer with Dad by the way) and we are all good.
As for your dad, it's truley amazing what they do these days, medically speaking. Have faith and try to rest when you get those few rare chances. Take care of yourself.

[Typhoonmary]

Cut a deal with Dad or Dad's "other" to make sure that going to school has the highest priority.

You may not hear this for some time, but eventually he will say "I should have stayed with you, Mom." He will learn where he gets unconditional love. Just continue to show interest in what he is doing without placing guilt. Stay in touch. It will help him keep his options open.

[survivorwatcher]

Thanks to all of you for you warm thoguhts and advice. Woodturner...yours is advice my sister and I have discussed oftern...its easier said than done. But I'm trying...as hard as I can. I truely do hope that this time things will work out for his dad and this one will be good for him and Gareth. She's a nurse..so that makes me feel a little better ;) Not happy about the distance, but maybe that will be good for Gareth too. That is how I am trying to look at everything.

As far as dad he is doing okay. Still eating badly, no matter what we do to try to get him to stop. He finds a way to get into to something he shouldn't have. I am trying not to need mom for anything...so she can be free to help dad.

We found out last nite that my dads older sister also had a heart attack and she is having problems getting her kidneys to work. She is in ICU for now they think she will be okay, but they are doing more test in the morning. She is near 80 and has been in ever failing health since her husband died a few years ago. If its not one thing its another....my life is chaos!!! :biglaugh:

[zandi]

Sending Lots of cyber hugs to ya, survivorwatcher.

Isn't it amazing, how we can look back on certain parts of our lives and wonder - how in the hell did I make it through that?? You will - WILL - wake up one day and realize that you made it through!

Be patient with your father. Give your mother all the love and attention that she would give to you, if she wasn't as overwhelmed as she is now.

As for your son - love, patience, guidance. Those 3 things are really all a child needs. (Along with that pesky food thing :) ) If there is something else going on in that situation with him and his father - nothing you can do or will ever do will make him see it sooner than he's supposed too.

I know it's hard - as a Mother - to allow your children to walk their own path and make their own mistakes. Just make sure that he knows that you love him - no matter what - and that you'll be there for him - come heaven or hell. He may not get it now, sweetie - but he will. That, I promise.

(And those words come from a now-grown-up who was in a similiar situation growing up. I didn't get it then, but I "knew" who I could always turn too. That's what made those days and decisions bearable.)

Be strong. Lots of love, peaceful thoughts, extra sleep time, patience, and guidance from this left coast family to yours :)

[survivorwatcher]

As for your son - love, patience, guidance. Those 3 things are really all a child needs. (Along with that pesky food thing :) ) If there is something else going on in that situation with him and his father - nothing you can do or will ever do will make him see it sooner than he's supposed too.

I know it's hard - as a Mother - to allow your children to walk their own path and make their own mistakes. Just make sure that he knows that you love him - no matter what - and that you'll be there for him - come heaven or hell. He may not get it now, sweetie - but he will. That, I promise.

(And those words come from a now-grown-up who was in a similiar situation growing up. I didn't get it then, but I "knew" who I could always turn too. That's what made those days and decisions bearable.)

Be strong. Lots of love, peaceful thoughts, extra sleep time, patience, and guidance from this left coast family to yours :)



You are all so wise. And even as I know these things...doing them isn't always easy. I have always known Gareth was one of those kids that had to find out things for himself. Just telling him the stove was hot wasn't enough...he had to touch it. So it should be no surprise that would be the same with this situation. I guess the hardest part is letting his dad figure it all out too. As he hasn't been around Gareth so much growing up. So Gareth is able to pull things over on his dad that he never could with me. So I worry what he will get into before his dad figures it out. He's a sneaky one. But I really am trying hard to let go...this time. The second time has been a little easier. And I have been upfront with him and his dad that once school starts, they would both have to tough it out. That's the only way both of them are going to grow up I think. Sad the dad should have to grow up to take care of his son ( and I don't mean being young at heart here!!). The next few months will be the real test. Don't stop praying for me...I'm gonna need it!!



As far as my dad, he seems to be doing fine. He's a bit upset that he can't go and be with his sister, but since she's in ICU he would only be sitting in a waiting room and that wouldn't be comfy at all. My Aunt is stable. They were doing test today to find out why her kidneys weren't working. So hopefully they can find out and get that treated quickly so she can get better.


Thank all of you again for all your thoughts and prayers. It really means alot!!!

[starry]

Survivorwatcher...I haven't been around much in the last year or two...but a few of the old timers know a little bit of the troubles my family has gone through. Sadly, I relate to what you are experiencing. My two older children left, at different times, to go live with their dad in another state when I was pregnant with my boys. My daughter came back last year, but hadn't really grown up enough at age 14 to have learned her lesson. She was mereley escaping a situation with her father. What could a mother do but welcome her back into her home? Yet, it tore me apart, as well as my family. She, too, cuts; writes dark poetry of blood, death, agony; promiscuous; is careless with her life and with others. When I finally put up boundaries to protect her & my current family, that's when the trouble got out of hand. She is now back with her dad. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to talk to my son either, since she's gone back. I can only imaging what she's told him.

The moral to this story? You can survive. You can learn to live with joy, knowing that you can not control your children or their choices. Loving means letting go...yet you CAN survive.

Many blessings to you.

[survivorwatcher]

Thanks Starry. This cutting thing seems to becoming more and more "popular" option for kids suffering from confusion in their lives. Somehow this generation (generation x) has been unable to teach our children how to deal with pain. And the schools are ill-equiped to deal with the problem. I know that my son is seeking to connect with his father and "escape" the pain and confusion about the problems he percieves to have with me. I hope to be able to sit down with the "new girlfriend" since she is a nurse and discuss some of the things Gareth has been doing in hopes of having two sets of eyes on him. I really hope ( although I don't know much about her yet) that his father will settle down this time. Even if they are farther away than I would like. I pray that the change will help him. He knows he will always be welcomed back...but this first year both of them are going to have to work it out somehow.


It has been easier this time (it's his second time moving out). The first only lasted 3 months. He got sick..and wanted to come home. He tends to get upset stomachs when he is stressed about something...and things weren't going well with the last "girlfriend" and her son. Luckily, I am sort of a loner, I love living alone. I don't have to cook, I can sleep as late as I want, or stay up as late as I want. I just worry about him...always will...that's what mothers do.

[Slitter]

Watcher, I'm not sure if this is off-topic or not, to be honest. Have you ever read the book "Generations: The History of America's Future, 1584 to 2069"? Amazon Link (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0688119123/ref=pd_sim_b_1/103-8987768-2496645?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155)

It's a fascinating look at a seeming pattern of gererations over history. How one led to the next and the next. There are 4 types and they repeat in a cycle. I don't know if it addresses these very specific issues (cutting and stuff) but you might find insight there. I loaned my copy to someone and whoever it was never gave it back so I can't just look for you. I definitely need to replace it. I thought it was really insightful and interesting. It makes it easier to understand what the generations are reacting to and why they think and behave the way they do. It was written in 1992 so you can probably find it in the library if you don't want to spend money on it.

ETA a few words here and there.

[Typhoonmary]

Watcher, I'm not sure if this is off-topic or not, to be honest. Have you ever read the book "Generations: The History of America's Future, 1584 to 2069"?
It's a fascinating look at a seeming pattern of gererations over history. How one led to the next and the next. There are 4 types and they repeat in a cycle. I don't know if it addresses these very specific issues (cutting and stuff) but you might find insight there. .... I thought it was really insightful and interesting. It makes it easier to understand what the generations are reacting to and why they think and behave the way they do.
The five cycles mentioned are
Colonial - 1584-1700
Revolutionary - 1701-1791
Civil War 1792-1859
Great Power - 1860-1942
Millenial 1943-future

Within each cycle there are four generations which alternate as Idealist, Reactive, Civic and Adaptive.
The author does not show a "Civic" generation in the Civil War Cycle. Each type has certain characteristics, which the author describes. Each generation is given a name to identify the cohorts of that generation.

Those oldest, living right now, are part of the Great Power Cycle and the G.I. Generation (Civic type), born from 1901-1924. Next would be the Silent Generation (Adaptive type) of the Great Power Cycle born 1925-1942) I belong in this cohort. We were born during the Great Depression, became adults when America was a superpower, had children during the Boom Awakening, and have entered the Millenial Era around the time of retirement.

There are four generations now alive in the Millenial Cycle.They are the Boom Generation (Idealist), 1943-1960, The Thirteenth Generation (Reactive ) 1961-1981, Millenial Generation (Civic?)....predicted to finally become Civic, but not appearing to start out that way....born 1982-2003?

Since the book was published in 1991, the fourth generation of this cycle was not really named in the book, but it is predicted that they will be a new, adaptive generation.

The book has a lot of charts showing the transition from one phase to the next. It was an eye opener for me in the 1980s, having had more education in the sciences than in the humanities. The other day I was looking for another book on the shelves around my bed and noticed this book The History of America's Future 1584-2069: GENERATIONS by William Strauss & Neil Howe. I thought to myself "I really ought to read that again to try to get some perspective on what has gone on in the last fifteen years."

Slitter, thanks for bringing it up. It confirms to me that I was on the right track reading it in the first place, and Watcher, it kind of gives one hope that the traditional generational pattern will prevail as a natural outcome of human experience. One generation sets the stage for the next in a predictable sequence. Apparently we need all the generations which are alive at one time, but we are not on the same page or step, obviously.

[survivorwatcher]

Thanks slitter and Tmary. I will definately look for that book. I certainly hope that Gareth will become "civic" minded. He is not now. I always felt that Gareth was born for a reason. (As my getting pregnate and carrying to term in the first place was not expected). I have always prayed that God would use him for his will...but he seems to have rejected God. I still pray that he will find his way back and be more appreciative of his life and the ppl that love him in his life. Whatever our faults his dad and I both love him...kids don't come with manuels. One day he will learn that too. lol

[Slitter]

Be advised that some people think is all a bunch of crackpot looniness. I personally though it was fantastic and enlightening but what the heck do I know? All I can say is that shortly after reading it I saw the movie "The Heathers" and it just fit so perfectly. Also I am on the cusp between Baby Boomers and GenX and though I lean mostly toward Baby Boomer I have some GenX tendencies too. So I thought their stuff was really dead on.

Interestingly, each cycle ends in some sort of major crisis that changes everything. They predicted one to occur in the first decade or so of the 21st century. Was it the attack on the WTC? Things have sure changed since that but only time will tell.

I think a lot of people turn their backs on God at least once in their lives. Without going into detail (because, frankly, I don't want to), I can say I have some experience with that. It isn't necessarily permanent but I will venture to say that you won't bring him back by either force or persuasion. He needs to find his own way and the more you pressure him, the more he will resist - at least that is my own experience.

I hope you find and like the book. I thought it was great and it gave me much to notice in others and think about and I found a new sympathy/understanding of people who had been driving me up the wall before I read it!

[survivorwatcher]

Thanks for the heads up about the book. Generally I read everything with a grain of salt. Taking what I want from it and leaving the things I don't so to speak. And I also "turned" away from God for a while after I got married, but felt lost without it in my life. I have tried not to pressure Gareth about Church, but to remind him that God is still there when he is ready. Right now he is just all about anger and hate, and has no room for anything happy and good. Except when it comes to fooling his dad, he's good at that. As most kids are.



Just an update on Dad and my aunt. Dad seems to be doing well, at least well enough to ignore what the doctors tell him to do. So I guess that means he okay. My aunt had a heart cath today. Although they said they didn't see much blockage. They are most worried about her kidneys, as they still do not know why they aren't working well. And just a note she has the same as me, fibromyalgia, so I imagine her pain receptors are low. Which in retrospect probably saved her life. Since she feels pain at a higher level, she was quicker to notice the change in pain, thus the heart attack was diagnosed quicker. Go figure huh. She is suspose to see a kidney specialist I think before they let her go home. I hope anyway.

Please continue to pray for dad and my aunt and for Gareth and his dad. And me too. I hope you all know you are always in my prayers. :hug2:

***************************************************************


We are proof that you don't have to agree with someone on all things to be friends. I greatly enjoy the discussion that goes on here. To paraphrase Whoopi Goldberg, hearing more than one side of an issue makes you think and grow as a person. I never want to stop growing. :thumb:

[AvecLion]

Watcher - two years ago, my two youngest wanted to live with their dad. OK, they;ve said it, but this time it coincided with a custody request from their father. And of course, I'm the disciplinarian - I don't allow my kids out after dark, I don't let them hang out at the mall, I ground them for bad grades, all that. But rather than fight it, I let them go - and then fell apart. It wasn't how I imagined the nest was going to empty. But I actually reached a point where I enoyed the freedom - for the first time in like 20 years, I could think of myself or spend time with my husband.

This May, DJ (the youngest) came back. He's now readjusting to life here - where we don't hand out iPods and cell phone minutes. He knows he made a mistake two years ago and actually prefers our rules.

Maybe he had to go to grow up. But if DJ could come to that conclusion, Gareth may too. Best of luck. And if he decides to stay there, enjoy the time you have - pamper yourself or something - after years of mothering, you deserve it.

Feel free to PM if you ever need to vent.

[Mouse9]

Just writing to let you know I agree with what's been said and to let you know I'm praying for you and your family.

I especially agree with the advice to pamper yourself. Kids take a lot out of a person and don't realize how much responsibility they are, even when you aren't physically changing their diaper, etc.

Even if it is just a "Take me away Calgon" bath it helps.

[Virgo6]

Watcher, I have been on vacation and just catching up. Read all the threads and I agree that you have to take care of YOU first. Several years ago my youngest daughter put me through hell. I blamed myself for her making stupid choices. She was an embarrassment to our family and I felt that people would think badly of me as a parent. I almost lost my job because I couldn't focus....I was absorbed in her drama. I cried myself to sleep more than I want to admit. Friends were supportive, but after awhile they tired of hearing my sad saga. But a few honest friends (Patchie was one of them) turned my life around after they made me realize SHE was making the mistakes and not me. It was HER life and I wasn't to blame. I raised her properly. SHE was screwing things up. When my attitude changed my daughter suddenly started to see things differently. I told her to leave my house because she was causing too much stress. When she went back to college after the summer we didn't talk for several months. To make a long story short..............she grew up....got on the right track and dumped the SOB that she was involved with that caused all the problems in the first place. He was an older married man who was abusive and totally nuts. She and I are best friends and she has made me very proud. She graduated college with wonderful grades and has a nice job she loves and a great apt. Still worries me sometimes with her choices in men, but she is learning gradually to see the RED FLAGS when they pop up. I know in my heart as she matures she will pick the right one. Good luck and prayers to you Watcher. Many hugs! Try to keep yourself occupied with things that make you happy. I know how hard it is to turn off that inner "mommy" and just let the pieces fall where they might. You gave your son a good foundation and HE has to build the house. :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

[survivorwatcher]

Thanks for sharing your story. It helps to know "I'm not alone" . And your right I learnt a long time ago the innner mommy doesn't go away from my own mom. With 2 older brothers and an older sister. But I am trying to quiet that inner mommy some and let him learn. As I said before he has always been the kid that had to learn own his own by doing. I think I know that on the other side he will be okay...its just the stuff inbetween that worries me.

[Slitter]

:hug2: to you Virgo and :clap: to Patchie! That is quite a story. I wish your daughter all the best, Virgo.

[Pepper]

What a wonderfully writeen message Virgo. As parents (of teenagers in particular) we all go through rough times. Letting go of even the best of them is very scary and trying. Hang in there Watcher. It's clear you'll find a lot of support right here in SA. I hope things are better for you soon.

[survivorwatcher]

Well everyone Dad has finally found out about my worries about Gareth first hand now. Gareth has been with his dad now since the end of May and last week they went to the beach with dad fiancee and her family. Dad had a hard time getting him to even put on shorts, though he finally did and even went swimming once. And he made comments that upset his dad. The kind of comments Gareth makes are troubling because you don't really know if he really means it or if he is trying to be funny or just shocking. For example: He said about a group of kids walking on the side of the road "If I were driving I would just swerve and run over all of them" and then went on to describe it. It was because of these things along with a few other things that I had Gareth seeing a therapist. Dad didn't think it would help...he now has a different tune.

I am glad his father finally saw what was going on with him, but I only hope he will be able to make a difference in his behavior. We( his dad and I ) had a long talk with him this week about it and now that he sees we are both on the same page (as far as this goes anyway). I hope he sees that we want to help. During this convo we were on the verge of sending him to an alternative school for troubled teens. That would scare me more than Gareth I think. I at least hope he sees that he is going to have to meet us half way in some things and talk to us more.

Now I have to work on his dad about meeting Gareth half way about his clothes. Gareth has a very creative style. And it embrasses his dad...but kids want to dress like teenagers not adults. And clicks are much stronger now I think than they were when I was a teenager. Of course his dad and I dressed creatively too as teenagers...of which I try to remind his dad. Gareth is a *rocker* and wouldn't be caught dead dressing like a prep, which is how his dad wants him to dress.

They are moving to TN in a few weeks. And Gareth has said he wants to try to do better. I hope it works out. I am still getting over him being here all the time, but I feel like it was the right thing to let him go right now. He spent the week with me here and only had a few incidents after the talk with his dad, which is normal for any teenager.

But now I am really tired after him not being here and then being here again....he wore me out. That doesn't take a lot, but still I am tired. I'm trying to get caught up on some online things so I can rest...cause once I go to sleep I may be out for a while. :biglaugh:

So I'm off to finish up so I can go to sleep. :sleeping: Thanks everyone.

[Gabby]

I'm glad you were able to communicate w/Gareth's dad.

When he goes to TN is it possible to put him in a school that wears uniforms?

[Slitter]

I'm glad Gareth's dad got to observe the sort of behavior that has been making you upset and nervous. Not only does he know that you were not just being overly dramatic but he has seen the sort of thing he needs to deal with and your presence also let the two of you show a united front. All of that should be helpful.

I continue to hope that all goes well for all of you. :hug2:

[patchiepoopoo]

I know what you are going through, and it is most difficult when the dad is not there to see things going on and doubts your word. So it is good that he does have him and is seeing this for himself now. I went through something similar after my divorce. Good luck to you, keep your head high and your spirit will follow.:hug2:

[survivorwatcher]

I'm glad you were able to communicate w/Gareth's dad.

When he goes to TN is it possible to put him in a school that wears uniforms?


Yea...I'm glad that he finally understands a bit more. Now maybe we can put on a more united front to Gareth and maybe be more successful with getting through to him.

And I don't think they wear uniforms...it's Pidgeon Forge in TN and a kinda small school...from what I understand. They are going shopping Friday for clothes though... I'm sure his dad will buy moderate clothes...just like I did...it's all about how Gareth puts them together...lol.