Prayers needed for the Gabby Family

[Gabby]

As some of you know, my father has not been in good health. He is a cancer survivor and has also had heart trouble. Earlier this year, he was diagnosed with diabetes.

This week, my mom noticed that he had jaundice. The blood tests show that his levels are really whacked and his liver is swollen. He will undergo tests on Friday (Tommy's birthday) to determine what is going on. The doctor will only say, "it probably will not be good." We will find out Monday what is going on.

We've been through a lot with this doctor, and she doesn't say things that she doesn't mean.

If you can keep my mother, Karen, and my father, Chuck, in your prayers, it will be greatly appreciated.

[patchiepoopoo]

So sorry to hear you are going through this stress Gabby especially near the holidays. Prayers for your mom, dad and you are on the way.........God Bless.

I hope the test is not bad news.

:hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

[tahitisweetie]

:( As always, my friend.

Let me know if there is anything else you need me to do, Gabby.

[Sunburntbeatle]

Prayers going up and a candle being lit.

[pocket]

Prayers, of course, Gabby. Illness is hard to deal with any time but during the holidays, it's particularly hard. I hope the test results turn out to be not so bad.

[spf15]

Our prayers are with you.

[Virgo6]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
((((((Gabby family))))))

[Slitter]

Sending my best wishes to you and your family.

[Kramer]

I am so sorry to hear this and I will most definitely say some prayers for your father and your family :hug2:

[UkraineMom]

Gabby,

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers...keep us posted

[svecki]

My prayers to you and your family. God Bless

[TigerLily]

As always you have my thoughts and prayers hon. hugs.

[Irishlass]

Your father and all of your family will be in my prayers.

[AvecLion]

As if you needed to ask....I really can't offer prayers, but I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and hopes.

[LeeLee]

I'm sorry to hear of your father's health. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

LL

[colby42]

Gabby you will be in all of our thoughts and prayers.

[Fuel]

Sending positive thoughts your way!

[WOODTURNER]

My prayers will be for your Father's health, of course. In addition, prayers for your family and how they handle the news. Love/Hugs J

[Jac-Kuch-ie]

Your family is in our prayers.

[frawniemae]

More prayers going up for you and yours. (((((gabby and family)))))

[snip the elf]

Hopefully everything will be ok.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[Gabby]

We got very bad news yesterday.

My Dad had his CAT Scan and the radiologist was able to read it quickly. It is Pancreatic Cancer. He will meet with a GI doctor on Monday to try to release the blockage that is creating the bile backup/jaundice and the cancer doctor on Tuesday.

For those of you who don't know, Pancreatic Cancer is nearly always fatal and fast moving. We don't know his exact prognosis, but as the doctor said, "it isn't good."

The news came early in the afternoon while I was with the boys at Tommy's birthday party. The family was coming over for dinner and presents later. Even though my mom was a mess, they (dad and my husband) decided to have the family thing anyway. I'm so glad they did. We had a great dinner and the family spent a nice evening instead of one filled with gloom. Even my mom enjoyed herself. The boys were especially chatty and enjoyed Tommy's games with G&G.

After dinner my dad went home (tired) and my brother and I took my mom downtown to see the lights. It was beautiful and she was very calm. I think the "ease" of the night let her talk without getting too emotional. My completely rational brother (the Law Professor) will be with them next week as decisions are made.

We haven't told T&C yet. Charlie will be the tricky one to tell. He has an appointment with his therapist today, so I will ask her advice on telling him.

Thank you all for your kindness.

[Sunburntbeatle]

Damn. I'm so sorry. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

[TigerLily]

Hugs, as always you and your family are in my heart.

[Virgo6]

Oh, Gabby so sorry to hear about your dad. That family get-together was the best thing you could have done. That memory will stay with you all forever. Bless you all and my prayers will continue for your family.

[pocket]

I'm so sorry to hear your bad news. It's great that you were still able to get together and create a good memory to carry you forward. Hugs and prayers for you and your family.

[Slitter]

So sorry to hear the bad news, Gabby. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts. :hug2:

[Irishlass]

I'm so sorry to hear the news wasn't good. Good for you for going ahead with the family gathering. Families need to be together at times like this to draw strength from one another. How wonderful that the gathering was already planned for the evening of the bad news. It gave you all a chance to be together. I've found that the first gathering after news like that is very awkward, you all had the chance to do it quickly and get over that first hurdle. Now you can be there for each other and not feel like you are walking on eggshells. I'm keeping all of you in my prayers. (((((Gabby)))))

[Kramer]

I am so sorry to hear the news Gabby. Your family remains in my thoughts and prayers. If you need anything at all, please do not hesitate to call...and I mean ANYTHING :hug2:

[WOODTURNER]

...To deal with this. I pray that it will be gentle.

[tahitisweetie]

I'm so sorry Gabby!

[patchiepoopoo]

Hugs to you Gabby at this difficult time, so sorry to hear this news.
:hug2:

[frawniemae]

Keeping you in my prayers. I know it's not an easy time.

[Mouse9]

Dear Gabby,

Sorry that you have to go through this time. Just know we all are praying for you and your family. I thought about saying "ditto" to everything others has said, but it seemed so flimsy and unfeeling and I am feeling for you right now.

Hugs and more hugs for you all.

[An-g_BB]

Gabby fam~

Prayers & thoughts for you all in the news about your Father. In this, a time of uncertainty and emotions lean on each other~
Lean on your faith~ Lean on your friends who want to be there for you all~
But, Most of all focus on the love you all have for one another.

Bless you all and i will pray for strength & peace that passeth understanding.:hug2:

[CAMORRI]

Gabby,
I know I don't post here much but I read all of your posts and I want to say that you are in my prayers. I lost my father to leukemia when I was 18 and I know what it is like to watch a parent be sick. Make each day count and know that if you need anything your friends here will be here for you.:hearton:

Love ya always,
Camorri

[LeeLee]

Gabby,

Sorry to hear of your news. I lost my Mom to Cancer when she was 46. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

LL

[Fuel]

Gabby, very sorry to hear the news. :(

[miranda]

Your dad and you and your family will be in my prayers Gabby...
remember,when God leads you to it, he will see you through it.

[rielap]

Oh Gabby, I'm so sorry that cancer has touched another life. My thoughts are with your dad and your whole family.

[crypto]

My thoughts to you and your dad Gabby.

[Zuzu's petals]

Oh, Gabby, I'm so very sorry. You and your family are in my prayers.

[Gabby]

I just thought I'd give an update...

Dad's had a lot of complications as they try to do an endoscopy to clear the bile and take a biopsy. Between blockages and a severe drop in blood pressure, he was in and out of the hospital most of last week. They admitted him yesterday to try to stabilize the blood pressure.

I was able to get my mom to "go to dinner" yesterday. She isn't eating, which is typical when she's stressed. My mom is a very tiny person. Turns out she'd had a bagel in 24 hours. She said she wasn't hungry and wanted to do a little shopping. We went to the mall and shopped until I thought I would pass out from hunger. Finally got her to go to Panera at 8:00 and she ate a bowl of soup. Sheesh.

I'm stressing out about my brother's family coming over the holidays. They've decided to spread joy to all of us and stay for 11 frickin' days! We all love my brother. His wife doesn't like us (we're too midwestern for her -- she once complained that there was Miller Beer in mom's fridge) and my nephew is a lot of work (he's between my two boys' ages). My dad isn't looking forward to it, my mom is flipping out, and I'm going to have to take them in for 11 days and hope Charlie doesn't kill his cousin.

My MIL was so cute when I told her they were coming -- she was going to call my brother and tell him that it was too long. DB already bought the airplane tickets (before consulting anyone), so I don't think it's okay to say anything. I did email: "Wow! That's a long time" but I got "Yeah -- we want to have a quality visit" -- hmmmm -- someone forgot to teach him that quality and quantity aren't the same thing!

They're supposed to do the endoscopy thing (AGAIN!) today. Third time's a charm!

[Sunburntbeatle]

I think I would spurge and get them a hotel room somewhere close by.

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I'm also keeping a candle lit for you and yours here:
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng

[Gabby]

Good suggestion -- but that's 11X$100 (at least!).

Thanks for the candle! :)

[Virgo6]

My heart goes out to you Gab. To have the stress of a household of people, helping your mom to cope and being there for your father is going to take a toll on you, Mr. G and the boys. I'm sure your brother thinks spending time with all of you is a Good Thing and in a way it is BUT like Ben Franklin once said "After 3 days fish and house guests both start to stink". Make sure your Bro and his family pitch in with expenses and help around the house and try to get some time alone with your own little family. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

[tahitisweetie]

There's no need to pussyfoot around the issue. This will be a stressful time for you no doubt.

Just know we are all here. Hey, middle of the night ... click on here and vent. We will follow up with "you can do it's" and "you're the best" and you'll never lose sight of how much we all love you and care for your family.

[pocket]

You DB is probably thinking he should be there while your Dad is so sick. 11 days is a l o n g time for a visit though. With everything else on your plate, it's a lot to handle. Stock up on easy to fix meal ingredients, and don't stress about putting on a fantastic meal every night. Surely, they will understand! We can only hope. I'd tell them up front that you're going to be in and out a lot and that's all you can handle, and they are welcome to pitch in to fill the slack. A little kind but plain talk goes a long way.

[Gabby]

My mom's neighbor is going to be gone for most of that time and has offered use of her house! Yippee!

We'll still have to "deal with" them a lot -- but at least we'll be able to get away from them! :)

[Zuzu's petals]

What a wonderful gift from your mom's neighbor. Hang in there, and as TS said, feel free to vent away, if necessary. You know we're all here for you.

[Sunburntbeatle]

Gabby, give that neighbor a hug from me! What a generous offer.

[Slitter]

I'm sorry to hear that this has been such a tough week for your dad (and your mom and you). I hope the procedure goes smoothly today.

Maybe you should get a couple of cases of Miller and accidentally "forget" and leave them on the bed your SIL will be sleeping in. After you take her to the room go, "oops" and move them off the bed and to the floor (clearly intending to leave them there). Maybe that'll be enough to make HER pay for the hotel. ;)

Hang in there. You can always come here to vent if you need to blow off some steam. :hug2:

[Virgo6]

Wow, what a nice neighbor!!! There are angels out in the real world aren't there. Wonderful idea.

[Slitter]

Oops, I didn't go all the way to the last page! Sorry about that. I'm glad your mom's neighbor came through like that. That will be a big help.

[patchiepoopoo]

Hugs to you Gabby for all you have to cope with at this time.
:hug2:

[Fuel]

Wow, that is A LOT of time. Nice of the neighbor to let you use their place. Hang in there!

[WOODTURNER]

...Not many would give you/brother access to their house. Shows what good people you are...and they are.

Blessings on all of you.

[Kramer]

I am sorry to hear about your fathers setbacks. I hope they can get his test done soon. Im glad you have an answer to your SIL's visit too. Still keeping your dad in my prayers. :hug2:

[LeeLee]

11 days! Can you "pass" the family around (3 days here, 3 days there etc...). I just can't believe someone wanting to stay that long.

LL

[Gabby]

The latest:

Dad was finally released from the hospital for a couple of days (which we hope will include Christmas). The current status is that they need to do yet another type of test to "look" at the tumor. The surgeon is concerned that the position of the tumor is too close to major blood vessels and is too tricky to remove at this point. Dad will go to another hospital to have this test (a little farther from home). They are collecting as much information as possible about the nature of the tumor. The local surgeon is recommending that dad be refered to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore for the actual surgery. In his words, "Don't mess around with U-M or any place else." It is also possible that the JH surgeon will determine that radiation should be done first to reduce the tumor's size.

My aunt and uncle (from PA) were able to come yesterday. It was nice to see them. Uncle will be going to JH with my mom in the event that it comes to that.

My brother's family arrives on Saturday.

[tahitisweetie]

Certainly keeping you and your whole extended family in my prayers.

[Virgo6]

This Christmas will be very special to all of your family. You will need to support each other through this crisis. JH is an excellent place for your dad to go for the surgery. Hugs and prayers for all of you.

[frawniemae]

I'm hoping that only good news comes your way over the next few days. I'm glad it looks as if your dad will be able to be home for Christmas. Prayers for a wonderful family time for you all.:hug2:

[Kramer]

I am glad your dad is coming home for a few days and hope he can stay for Christmas :hug2: I agree, don't mess around with U-M, honestly, Phil's father just had a huge tumor in his bowel removed. It took U-M over a year :eek: to find out why he was bleeding from his rectum, a year later, they found the tumor in his colon and removed it, but by then it had spread to his kidney, so 3 months after his colon cancer surgery, he had to have his kidney removed as well. I have a horrid opinion of the U-M physicians and am so relieved you will be taking your father to JH.

[Slitter]

I'm glad your dad is coming home and join with the others in hoping he can stay for Christmas.

Not real confidence-inspiring to hear that about U-M. I guess maybe every pretty big city has a hospital or two that people don't really trust to do anything important. I know we've got a couple. JH has a pretty stellar reputation though so that sounds like a good idea even if it is away from home. I know it will be hardship on you if you can't be there when you want to be but at least you'll be knowing that he's getting the best possible care.

You can never go wrong even in the best of times and health enjoying the special times you have with your family. I hope you are all able to have a great time this weekend and throughout the holiday season. :hug2:

[Gabby]

I need to step in to defend U-M --

If it wasn't for them, MrGabby probably would have died from Crohn's 11 years ago.

[frawniemae]

Being from so far away I can't say anything about the two hospitals mentioned but there is always two sides to the staory. I do know that around here if the word "cancer" is ever mentioned most people make a beeline for Houston and MD Anderson Hospital. I personally would not even slow down before I got there.

I hope your dad gets the best care where ever he goes. And that your family can be comforted through all this.

[Sunburntbeatle]

What about the Mayo Clinic/Hospital? Isn't it in Minnesota? Not that I have a real great opinion of doctors in that state but it's suppose to be a good place. Just a suggestion.

I will keep you and yours in my prayers.

[pocket]

If the doctors recommend John's Hopkins, there's a good reason. Having to go to a distant hospital is a hardship, but often large complexes like JH and MD Anderson have nearby accomodations for the patient's family.

I'm glad your dad will be home for Christmas an you all have that family time.

[Fuel]

Really glad to hear that your father will be home to enjoy the holiday with the family.

I guess I am lucky in a way with the Philly medical system. I was diagnosed quickly, MS isn't the easiest thing to figure out. I hear horror stories frequently about how long it took to get the diagnosis.

[Kramer]

Well, if I ever have Chrons then I will get the name of the U-M doctor from you. But, all I am saying is that if I ever had cancer, I wouldn't go there. No matter where you go, you have all of my thoughts and prayers. :hug2:

[troztreemail]

Gabby, new to club but very much a believer in the fact that there is strength in numbers and the power of prayer. You don't know me but my mother suffered from a majority of the illnesses your father had and I had to take care of her all by myself in my early 20's! I will pray for your dad and you and family that you have peace, comfort and don't give up, stay positive, as you should try to keep your dad, too.

[KuchaSpirit]

I know I am just entering this thread and have just read it, but your dad and family are in my prayers too. I am really sorry to hear about all his troubles and all the visits to the hospital.....I know that isn't fun. Just want to let you know that you dad and your entire family (and all the relatives that wil be next door) will be in my prayers and thoughts, too. :)

[Gabby]

I wanted to give everyone an update, but it seems like we're always waiting to hear something.

During the last month, my dad has had numerous biopsy procedures, but none of them was successful at getting a "good" pathology on the tumor. A CAT scan determined that the tumor is inoperable in terms of what they're willing to risk here. Johns Hopkins is still a remote possibility. Today, they finally did a cut-you-open biopsy to make sure they got what they needed.

They will then send that report to JH along with everything else. My personal feeling is that JH will also say "too risky." My brothers and I were able to piece together conversations we each had w/dad when mom wasn't around and realize that dad really isn't all that keen on surgery anyway. Mom is the one pushing it. I guess if JH says they'll see dad, I'll have to sit mom down and remind her that this is ultimatley dad's decision. Can't wait to do that. :rolleyes:

Meanwhile, I think my dad looks worse everytime I see him, but he doesn't complain. So far, there's no pain.

The hardest day for me was New Year's day. In our family it is the BIG holiday. We all go to dad's and watch every football game we can cram in (we used to put three tvs in the living room) and have the "last feast" of the season. Michigan getting flogged was tough enough to take, but it really floored me driving home that I'd probably never spend a NYDay watching the Rose Bowl w/my dad. :crying:

I expect to have days like that, but mourning in advance is not all it's cracked up to be.

[tahitisweetie]

Oh, Gabby. That is so hard.

And I too would hate to have that conversation with my mom.

[pocket]

I'm so sorry that your news isn't better, Gabby. You're right, in the end what your Dad wants should be the deciding factor, but for some like your Mom, it's hard to give up hope of a cure. This has been a trying and painful time for you and your family, and I wish you all strength.

Many people who've lost loved ones in accidents have said, "I wish I could have told him/her....." As hard as it is, having the time to share the love and esteem you feel is priceless.

[An-g_BB]

Gabby,
keeping you in my thoughts n prayers.
:hug2:

[Fuel]

Gabby, this is a difficult time for sure. Surgery is a very personal decision, hope your mom does not bug him too much about it (he needs to avoid additional stress). She should enjoy her days with him.

[Virgo6]

So sorry to hear the news about your dad Gabby, but I agree with others who have said that its your dad's choice. As long as he is made comfortable and has his loving family near him is what is so important at this time. My heart goes out to all of you and prayers constantly.

[Slitter]

I expect to have days like that, but mourning in advance is not all it's cracked up to be.

I know exactly what you mean. :hug2: You know I went though the same thing a couple of years ago and I still haven't found anything harder to do. The damnedest little things come up to remind you of what is happening.

I don't envy you that conversation with your mom. I do think you are right though. It needs to be your dad's choice.

If I can do anything to help you during this time, let me know. I don't know if you would find my experiences helpful or confirming or anything but I will certainly share them with you if you think they would be. Otherwise just know that you and your family are in my thoughts and that I and others here do understand what you are going through.

Keep us updated when you can but we'll still be here in the background with our support even if you can't. :hug2:

[Gabby]

Thanks, Slitter. I actually draw strength from Moppy's memory and vividly recall how hard it was for you to be torn between letting everyone know what was happening and knowing that documenting her decline brought no comfort.

No word from the surgeon yesterday (unless it came pretty late).

[Irishlass]

(((((Gabby)))))

I'm so sorry you and your family have to go through this. You are so right about this being your Dad's decision. I know your mother wants to keep him as long as possible, but she has to let this be his decision. This isn't about her, it is about your dad. As Pocket said earlier, this situation does allow you to share with your father your feelings and love for him.

I can relate to your statement about grieving while he is still alive. My mother's situation is different. It is her mind that is dying. It has been for the past three or four years..............day by day getting worse. Not a day goes by that I don't grieve for the mother I once knew. This shell of a woman is not my mother, it is a stranger in her body.

Remember you can come here whenever you need support, we all love you.

[Kramer]

Gabby, so sorry to hear that things are not better with your father. Anticipatory grief is very difficult to deal with and it is even tougher when you have to be the family translator or the person to deal with the "mom". Please know that you have a lot of love and support from your extended family here at SA and you and your father are continuously in my thoughts and prayers.

[mel]

I just read through this thread, Gabs. My heart is just aching for you and your family.

I'm keeping good thoughts and much love for all of you.

[Gabby]

Thanks, mel.

Dad starts radiation and chemotherapy this week. He is feeling weaker now (even before treatment).

[Slitter]

I am wishing him all my best.

Would he get a lift out of a card drive or would he just think it was weird?

[Gabby]

Hmmmm....let me think about that.

[Virgo6]

Gabby, thoughts and prayers for your dad. A friend of mine is going through her treatment right now also. Not easy, but this is her second time around and she has an amazing attitude. A card drive might cheer him. Yes, give it some thought. Its always nice to know that people are in your corner and sending good vibes your way. Hugs to all.

[Gabby]

Okay -- I decided "what the heck!"

My hesitation was that like many people of his generation, he's never participated in ANY online community -- let alone one that functions like this one! :)

I'm sure it will mean a lot to see how many people are keeping our family in their thoughts and prayers. It's amazing how wide the net of friends goes! Just remember, Chuck has NO IDEA who Gabby is! :rofl:

PM me if you'd like the address.

[pocket]

errr........yeah, we can't say "from a friend of Gabby's", can we? I'd like the address, Gabby.

[patchiepoopoo]

I think a card drive is a neat idea, I'd be happy to be a part of it.
If you have time send the info on to me.
Hang in there Gabby, it is never easy to deal with this kind of situation but every bit of support can help.
:hug2:

[frawniemae]

I know that my sister in law still reads through all the cards she rec'd while going thru her cancer ordeal. And that was 6 years ago. This is a great idea Slitter!

[Slitter]

It is not an original idea so don't give me too much credit.

Having been on Gabby's end of things with the address requests, let me just make this one appeal. Please send her PMs like she asked instead of just posting your request. There's a lot going on and it can become hard to keep track of. Hopefully her dad won't have to move around as often as Moppy did but it was a real extra effort to try to keep track of who was asking on the thread (at least it was for me, especially with all the moving she did) and not omit them whereas PMs made it very simple.

Maybe I shouldn't butt in but this is one of those "been there, done that" situations.

[Fuel]

The card idea is great, I'll get one out.

Just remember, Chuck has NO IDEA who Gabby is! :rofl:


Okay, we'll just tell him that it's from a friend of his daughter that talks too much. ;)

[Gabby]

He only has one daughter! That makes it really easy!

I talked to Dad a while ago. He said radiation was quick and easy, but the chemo pack that he has to carry/wear is heavy and cumbersome.

[Sunburntbeatle]

Mine's going out tomorrow. Got hubby into the act too......so a "manly" gift is going to be included. It's more of a small package.........just so ya know.

[Gabby]

Oh my! I can't wait to see what that is! :)

[Sunburntbeatle]

Oh my! I can't wait to see what that is! :)

We could make a game out this......Send something to Gabby's Dad and have Gabby guess what it is! :awink:

[Gabby]

The cards have begun to arrive!

They got a huge kick out of it -- so thank you all again!!

I had fun trying to get the first names (I did better with the cities!) registered with my "SA name." I got to tell little stories about who each person was and why they're special to SA. :D

Mom didn't quite put it together that I had something to do with the sudden increase in cards (she got the Michigan friends' cards starting Monday) until she got cards from Indiana, Illinois, Arizona...

You've done a great thing! I can't wait for the next batch!

[Slitter]

I'm glad they're enjoying them. Just today when driving home I got to thinking they'd probably be starting to come in about now. :)

[Virgo6]

AHHH! That's super Gabby!

[Sunburntbeatle]

WooHoo! I'm glad they liked them.

[Irishlass]

The cards have begun to arrive!
I got to tell little stories about who each person was and why they're special to SA. :D


I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when you were telling your "little stories".

I'm so happy to hear that the cards were received with joy. Sometimes it is the little things that mean the most.

(((((((Gabby family)))))))

[patchiepoopoo]

Brought a tear of joy to my eye reading that Gabby. :hug2:
This was a good thing for sure to send the cards.

[WOODTURNER]

Shall we start a second batch in a couple of weeks? I'm going to set alternate Tuesdays for my cards.

[Virgo6]

I was going to ask the same thing? Its up to you Gabby. Should we send more good thoughts dad's way?

[Gabby]

Whatever you'd like to do ! :)

[Gabby]

Mom is so happy w/all the cards.

I haven't gotten to see them yet, but I'm planning to go over there tomorrow.

SBB -- she got all choked up telling me about your pictures. Can't wait to see them! :)

Dad is feeling very sick to his stomach, but continues to drive himself to radiation.

The :crying: thing today was that my mom's cat, Cy, was diagnosed as having more tumors. He went through radiation a few years ago. He has the tumors caused by vaccinations. He's 12, and mom doesn't have the expendable income to do the treatments again (plus -- he's had 7 good years after the last fight). If it wasn't so sad, it's a little funny. The vet was telling her the same things we heard about dad. "Inoperable" -- "Hard to biopsy" -- "At least he isn't in any pain..."

Poor mom's about at the end of her rope.

[frawniemae]

I'm sorry for that news Gabby. I will continue to pray for you and yours.

[Virgo6]

You know what, mom could use some cards for her also. Mothers are always the backbone of a family and our shoulders are strong. But there are times when things just can be so overwhelming even for the best of us. I feel a pain in my heart just thinking about what she is going through (well, even you Gabby and the rest of the family) at this time. All you can do is hold each other tight and feel the love. Before I sleep at night I say my prayers and you and your family are always included. Sorry about Cy.

[Sunburntbeatle]

I'm glad they got there. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's cat. I'll keep on keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Gabby]

Thanks again to everyone for all the cards. Mom and Dad are really enjoying them and are overwhelmed by the kind words and thoughtfulness!

Cy (the cat) was given a 6 month - 1 year prognosis. Mom is very sad.

Dad continues to fight the good fight. Chemo is wearing him down and it's hard to eat by the end of the week. He's about half-way through the treatment and he looks pretty good all things considered. My brother from CO was in town yesterday and my mom's sister has decided to come for 10 days. We had a very nice family dinner.

For those of you who have more room on your prayer lists, tcroom129's mother is going for a biopsy next week after a second mammogram/ultrasound showed a possible tumor.

[frawniemae]

There's always room on my prayer list. :hug2: to all of y'all.

[Slitter]

Continued good wishes for your dad and now new ones coming nothward for 129's mom. Give her my best (129 I mean).

[aussieker]

Sorry to hear about your Dad Gabby - I know I haven't been here in ages - and unfortunately my husband died of Liver failure January last year so I know just how difficult it all is. As Virgo said it's hard for the carer - you have to be strong for the person who is sick and in pain but your own pain is still there. Sounds like your Mum is having a rough time.
I know what I am going to bring up now is hard to deal with, but it's so important and it sounds like your Dad is fairly clear on what he wants.
I have just done a course on helping set up "living wills" for people - find out just what your Dad wants and make sure he fills out paper work so that it can be carried out. If it's too much for your mother to cope with then one of you kids should step up. I know it sounds dire but it's best to know what their wishes are before it gets to an even more difficult stage, even if thats not for years to come.
Since Richard and I had always discussed it all before, I knew what he wanted and when it was the right time to stop treatment and let him be pain free. That way he got to come home and die at home surrounded by his family. It was hard work but I was glad I could do it for him and carry out his wishes.

[Gabby]

Aussieker! I was so happy to see you, but so sad to hear of your news!

:hug2:

[Slitter]

Aussieker, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. :hug2:

[aussieker]

Thanks - yes it's been hard.

[Gabby]

My mother asked me to send this to all of you.

I believe when we pray for strength to get through tough times, God answers those prayers through people like you. Your unexpected cards buoyed our spirits. As they came in from all over the country, I kept thinking, "God IS everywhere." Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the cards, kind words, prayers and for being such wonderful friends to our daughter, Kris. She has always been a blessing to us.

Chuck has only eight more treatments to go and is holding up well.

Fondly,

Karen Matthews

[Slitter]

That was sweet of your mom to take the time and effort to write a response to us. I know she has a lot of other things on her plate.

I'm a firm believer in cards. I've seen first hand how they affect people. :) I sent another one yesterday for just that reason. I hope they don't think it is too tacky, lol.

[Kramer]

Gabby, so sorry to hear about your mom's cat :hug2: I am glad your dad is getting through the chemo. I continue to keep him in my thoughts and prayers.

Aussieker, I am so sorry for your loss :hug2:

[Gabby]

I thought I'd update...

Dad finished round 1 of the chemo and radiation. He has lost a lot of weight and has trouble eating. Nothing tastes good and everything has a quick "turn-around time." Mom went to the dietician provided for cancer families and she suggested a high-protein diet. They'd like for him to gain some weight before round 2. Dad was able to play a few rounds of golf and continues to go to the club to play gin with his friends. The dietician thinks that it's very important to have physical activity (even golfing from a cart) because it does stimulate the appetite.

Round 2 will be strictly chemotherapy and is probably going to start next week. April 20 is my parents' 44th wedding anniversary and Dad's birthday is April 24.
He leased a new car (he's needed a new one for a long time!). He got a Chevy HHR...cute. I think it lifted his spirits a bit.

I haven't asked about the cat...he looks okay to me. He had a close call though as mom was feeding him the recalled cat food for a few days before the word went out. oops.

As we move toward summer, I am feeling a little less stressed. I can "do more" once school is out.

Thank you again for all of your support!

[tahitisweetie]

Well, this sounds pretty good. Glad for you and your family.

[Virgo6]

Still keeping your family in my prayers. Does dad drink Ensure? I have several friends going through Chemo at the moment and they use that to help them on the days they don't have an appetite.

[miranda]

Your dad is in my prayers...I hope everything goes well with round 2.
My parents anniversary was also Apr.20th...and my cousins birthday is Apr.24th.
Glad the cat is okay too..I know I panicked with mine, but I don't feed them any of the food that was recalled.
Stay strong.:)

[Gabby]

Does dad drink Ensure? I have several friends going through Chemo at the moment and they use that to help them on the days they don't have an appetite.

I think he's been drinking BOOST reluctantly (at least mom is collecting the coupons). MrGabby had to drink Ensure during his big battle with Crohn's 10 years ago and he still will cringe at the mention of it! :spit:

[Slitter]

Another thought for you. Moppy found that she was typically able to manage shortbread cookies when nothing else would go (or stay) down. You might try those or other mellowly flavored things like graham crackers etc.

Glad to hear that he's still active and interested in the things he liked to do before this all got started.

[pocket]

It's encouraging that he's playing golf. The appetite thing is hard. My SIL had no appetite and did drink the Ensure, and my brother would poach eggs or scramble them for her. It's hard when nothing tastes good.

[Fuel]

Things seem like they are going alright, hopefully round 2 won't be too difficult. Instead of Ensure or Boost, how about protein shakes? I have some power that I mix with non-fat milk and it tastes great.

[Virgo6]

I never had Ensure, but I did drink Boost at one time and I thought it was pretty good. My one friend used to love Wendy's (Fastfood) Chocolate Shakes. Protein shakes would be good too like Fuel said. Glad though that he is out playing golf. A positive attitude is part of the battle. Hugs all around.

[Gabby]

I think my mom was looking into some sort of protein powder.

:lickingli Wendy's frosty diet sounds good to me! Of course, I wouldn't want to do chemo to "get the privilege!" :eek:

[Kramer]

Glad to hear that your father is keeping as active as he can and that his spirit is still good. I bet he looks cute in his new HHR! :) I continue to keep your family in my prayers Gabby!! I hope the 2nd round of chemo is easier on his system and he is able to gain some weight back :hug2:

[Gabby]

Just wanted to give everyone another thank you for the cards and notes.

:)

Dad seems to be tolerating this chemo very well. He continues to go out to the club to play golf.

My mom's mother is 89 and suffers from dementia. She is in a long-term care facility in KS. Yesterday, she took a fall out of bed and seperated her collar bone. Unfortunately, this is a very serious injury for someone her age/her condition. My mother is going to have to go be with her this week as they move her to a full-care nursing home. I don't know how much more she can take.

The cat is very sick -- Dad isn't eating enough (I'll be in charge of checking on him while mom's away and MrG will be in charge of entertainment/golf ) -- now this.

[Texas Kelly]

MrGabby had to drink Ensure during his big battle with Crohn's 10 years ago and he still will cringe at the mention of it! :spit:
What doctor told him to do that? :eek: My nutritionist told me during the early phases of my Crohn's treatment a few years ago that Ensure and drinks like it are some of the very worst things one can have when you've got Crohn's because the creaminess in them comes from carrageenan - one of the most inflammatory substances known to man. (It's so inflammatory that researchers actually use it to induce bowel disease in lab tests!) And my nutritionist suffered from very severe Crohn's himself for many years before successfully treating himself through diet - so I'm definitely going to trust him on this!

Needless to say, despite my silence, I've had my fingers crossed for your dad for a very long time now and I hope things continue to go well with his treatment! :luck:

[Gabby]

This was when he was down to 130 pounds on a 6' frame. I think it was a desperation move!

[Fuel]

Sorry to read about the fall. Ouch! Hopefully the stress levels for your mom and the whole family will ease soon. :luck:

[Slitter]

Sorry to hear about your grandmother's fall. Your mom (and you too) are carrying heavy loads.

I'm kicking myself here. I have cards for your dad and have just spaced out on sending any for a while. I'll try to get myself back on track with that. :bonk:

[LeeLee]

So sorry to hear of your family troubles. I'll keep your family in my thoughts.

LL

[frawniemae]

Sometimes when it rains, it absolutely pours. I am so sorry there's so much "stuff" going on right now. I pray things ease up and days get brighter for all of you.

[Kramer]

Just checking up on your family Gabby, everyone is still in my thoughts and prayers :hug2:

[Gabby]

Thanks, Kramer.

Dad continues to be able to play golf. Everyone says that the time to worry is when he won't do that. He's only able to eat bland things, so that's driving mom crazy! :) He's still having trouble putting/keeping on the weight.

On Mother's Day, we all went to my brother's house to have a family Wii night. Dad said he thought he could eat fried chicken (something that had been forbidden by the heart doctor, but now is okay). He enjoyed it. Unfortunately, I didn't bring enough! I guess we'll do it again for mom's birthday next week.

Meanwhile, those of you who follow the game thread know that I had a family situation last week. It's Charlie. He's really having a rough time emotionally. It's probably not caused by Grandpa's illness (he suffers from a General Anxiety Disorder w/Panic Attacks), but the stress in all of our lives doesn't make it easier. If you have time to tack Charlie on to your prayer lists, I would be grateful.

My grandma is doing better and mom's cat is still hanging in there.

[tahitisweetie]

Gabby, as you know, the Charlie deal is breaking my heart. Please know that he is top of my list of prayers. I love you guys!

[tralee]

My prayers are with you Gabby, during this very tough time. :hug2:

[Fuel]

Good to hear that your father still has the desire to play golf. Yeah, I would worry if he stopped.

Sad to hear about Charlie. I've been there to a certain point, hopefully he will find someone that will get him through this.

[Gabby]

Dad had to have a transfusion this week. His platelets were very low. He needs to rest this weekend. He said that he tried to watch the Pistons last night and (thankfully) fell asleep. He's seen his Wings and Pistons go down this month -- hopefully the Tigers will start to heal soon!

Charlie continues to struggle. He had a hard time hearing that grandpa was "sick again." We are working on getting him a 504 plan at school. Hopefully next year will be easier on him. Only 8 more days of school. Hopefully he'll make it.

[Irishlass]

Gabby, I hadn't read this thread for a while. God love ya', it appears you have more than a plate full right now. Charlie has claimed a top spot on my prayer list, he has grown up before our eyes here at SA...........he's family. Hugs to the entire Gabby family. I'm praying for strength for all of you.

[Gabby]

Mom's cat (Cy) died today in her arms.

She's very sad.

[Kramer]

I am so sorry to hear about Cy :hug2: I have two furbabies of my own and know how difficult it will be to lose either of them. Your family continues to be in my prayers. I am hoping that Charlie makes it through the end of the year OK and that your dad starts feeling better soon ... much love being sent to you tonight.

[patchiepoopoo]

Aw, I'm so sorry to hear about your moms cat Cy. This is so sad on top of all she has to deal with.
Hugs to her and all in your family, and you too Gabby.

I know how hard it is to lose a kitty. My sisters cat just died this past Saturday evening from kidney failure so we are all still shook up about that.

[pocket]

I'm so sorry. This is really a hard time for your family, Gabby. Losing a pet at any time is hard, but it's harder for your Mom to deal with because she's dealing with your Dad's illness. I hope your Dad gets stronger again, and that Charlie feels better too.

[Slitter]

I'm very sorry to hear about Cy. It's always tough to lose a beloved pet. My condolences to your mom and your whole family. I'm sure you all loved Cy.

[UkraineMom]

I am so sorry to hear that your family is having such hard times... I feel for you and am sending warm thoughts to you!

[Irishlass]

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your mom's beloved pet. Hugs to everyone, especially your mother.

[Fuel]

Very sad to hear about Cy. I'm sure the cat was a source of comfort for her and your father.

[Gabby]

Finally, some good news.

My dad finished round 2 of chemotherapy a month ago. Last Friday, he had a CAT scan. The scan showed absolutely no sign of the tumor.

He is still quite frail and his digestive system is not working properly, but it is a very positive step. Most pancreatic cancer patients will never hear this kind of news. He had more tests yesterday, and will know a lot more soon.

Thanks to all of you who've kept praying! Things are looking up.

[Virgo6]

Oh, Gabby that is wonderful news. I think of your parents often. Chemo does take alot out of a person, so I am not surprised to hear that his insides are alittle screwed up. Hugs to all of you and may dad feel better as each day goes by.
:hug2:

[Slitter]

Great news, Gabby! I am really happy for you and your family. :)

Thanks for sharing the news.

[tahitisweetie]

Awww, that is wonderful news.

[tralee]

What wonderful news to hear, Gabby! I'm so happy for you and your dad and your entire family!!! :lovey::clap: May you continue to receive good news!

[patchiepoopoo]

Gabby, I am so glad to hear this news about your father. :thumb:

[pocket]

Wonderful! As you said, you don't hear that kind of news very often with pancreatic cancer. I'm so glad for him and for your whole family. I hope the food and weight thing turns around soon, as well. :boogie: Great news!

[Irishlass]

Great news for your dad and your entire family. I'm still keeping all of you in my prayers.

[UkraineMom]

Finally some good news for you and your family!

[Fuel]

Wow, that is great!

[frawniemae]

I echo all of the above sentiments. It has been a long, rough summer for the Gabbys. I'm thankful for this piece of good news.

[snip the elf]

So gald to hear about this great news! :clap:

[Tiberius]

Yea, that is great!

[Kramer]

Glad to hear of the good news Gabby. As always, he and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers :hug2:

[rielap]

Been a long time, but thought I'd stop by and check in with the new season. So sorry to hear about your dad battling cancer. I hope that the good news is the first of many times your family hears good news about your dad.

[Gabby]

I wanted to share some good news. My dad's follow up tests from his CAT scan support the findings that his tumor is gone. All signs indicate that the cancer is gone. This is amazing (and unexpected) news. He is still weak from chemo, but the oncologist is putting him on "monitor status" with no further treatments being planned. The next step is to regain some of his weight and get his system operating normally.

Thanks to all of you for your prayers and support this year. We're "heading out of the woods!"

[Virgo6]

Wow! That is wonderful news Gabby. Your whole family must be so relieved.
Prayer is powerful.

[pocket]

Yahoo! I hope his appetite comes back and he can enjoy food again.

[Slitter]

Wow, Gabby, that is GREAT news! Hopefully he will be able to quickly recover from the effects of his chemo and regain his general health. Soon all he'll have to worry about is the Stanley Cup and his golf swing! :D

[rielap]

Great news!!

[patchiepoopoo]

So glad to hear such good news :clap:

[Kramer]

What a miraculous turn about!! I am so happy for your father and your family Gabby, that is great news :hug2:

[mel]

Gabs: I have been thinking of your dad a lot lately. We almost lost mine on October 19th after surgery for lung cancer. He's still hanging in there and we had a lot to be thankful for over the holiday.

I am sure you did, too. :)

Lots of love to you and your family.

[Gabby]

Yikes, mel!

Thought I should give an update...

Dad is not receiving any type of cancer treatment. He's been able to gain about 10 pounds. That's the good news. The bad news is that he has developed severe pain in his legs that (so far) is unexplainable. The doctor took him off of Zocor (which is known to cause joint pain). That hasn't helped. He's walking with a cane.

We're approaching the one-year anniversary of his first hospitalization/diagnosis. I really didn't think he'd get this far, so I am thankful for all of this time. It's just really sad that it isn't a "happy" anniversary in terms of how he's feeling.

[Slitter]

Gabby, I'm sorry to read that your dad is having that pain. I remember that the chemo meds gave Moppy a lot of bad pain in her legs and her doctor told her it could last more than a year after the end of her treatments. I don't know if that would apply in any way to his situation but I thought I'd throw it out there.

Whatever the cause, I hope they figure it out and can do something to ease it - and soon. The poor guy has been through enough already. He deserves better than this.

[Gabby]

His blood work and ultrasound came back "good." There is blood in his urine, and the concern is that his kidneys may be failing. He'll have a kidney ultrasound soon.

Thanks for letting me know about Moppy. Maybe it is just chemo related.

[Virgo6]

I felt sad hearing your dad is in so much pain. I think he is sort of special to all of us on here. I know of people that had or have pain from the chemo just like Sli said. One of my friends has a strain of colon cancer that comes and goes every few years.
This is like her 3rd bout of it since it was diagnosed. This time she really isn't feeling well with the treatments, but every week there she is serving Communion at church with her little cropped hair. Took the wig off a few weeks ago. Give dad a big hug from his friends on SA and tell him we are all thinking about him. Oh, and can't forget your mom.

[Fuel]

Sorry to hear about your dad's problem. Hopefully they'll figure out whats wrong and treat it.

[mel]

Gabs: My brother-in-law has been on meds after doing chemo (prostate cancer) and has a lot of back and leg pain. His bone scans have come back clean. Not sure what the cause is... My sis (a nurse) is convinced it's from the meds he's on but I don't know.

For my dad, he has all kinds of vascular issues (smoking) and has leg pain as a result - but that's not related to the cancer.

I wonder if your dad's kidney issues could be resulting in difficulty breaking down things like potassium? That's also been an issue of my dad's. Just a thought.

Hang in there. :)

[Slitter]

I felt somewhat foolish, TTTT, about posting on the chemo med's lingering effects because it seemed like if I knew about it, a doctor certainly would. Maybe not though, judging from these newer posts. It might be worth asking about after all.

You probably know what the chemo drugs your dad got were. You could look up the side effects and see if his problems are listed. I know bone pain was one of the possible side effects of one of Moppy's chemo drugs. If they are, ask the doc if the current problems could be related to the chemo. And then, in all honesty, I would have to ask him why he hadn't thought of that before you asked.

Seriously, I am the most medically ignorant person I know (not counting back pain, which I know too much about). If *I* raised the question and the doc never even thought of it, that would be a big red warning flag in my book.

[Gabby]

I'm sure they've discussed that. He's been chemo free for 3 months and this is a new development.

I haven't heard anything yet about his test, but Charlie said Grandpa was at the club last night for dinner (Daddy and Charlie went for a boys night out). He hadn't been able to go for a while, so that was good to hear.

[Peachezz]

Prayers for all of you.

[Gabby]

Well...I got a call this afternoon that mom and dad were at the hospital. Dad was complaining of numbness in his left arm.

After a day of emergency room tests it was determined that he was not having a heart attack, but they have admitted him to the hospital under the care of a neurologist. He will have an MRI and other tests tomorrow.

Of most concern is that his mental health is deteriorating, too. He is nearly unable to climb the stairs at home. Mom is considering a lift, but it may come to dad being in need of more care. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Obviously, this is not good timing. (Is it ever?) I'm hoping that the neurologist will help answer some of the mystery surrounding the leg pain.

I'll let you know how it's going.

[Virgo6]

Sorry, to hear the news Gabby. It has to be so frustrating for him to start feeling better and then have this set back with the leg pain. Please keep us posted.
Thoughts will be with him tomorrow, prayers of course too.

[Slitter]

I'm sorry to read about this Gabby. Your family will be in my thoughts tomorrow too. I hope everything comes out OK.

[pocket]

I'm sorry about your Dad, Gabby. I hope the doctors can help. Your Dad and your family remain in my prayers.

[Fuel]

So sad to hear this news. I hope he will be alright!

(((Hugs)))

[Irishlass]

I'm sorry to hear this, Gabby. Your dad and the rest of your family are in my prayers. I hope the doctors can figure out what's going on with him.

[UkraineMom]

I am so Sorry Gabby, I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers

[svecki]

My prayers are with you Gabby.

[Gabby]

My dad had an MRI in the middle of the night that took over 2 hours. Not comfortable!

The good news is that the MRI shows that there still is no sign of cancer. The problem stems from arthritis that has impacted nerves in his neck. That is what is causing the pain and the numbness.

The potentially bad news is that they want him to talk to a surgeon.

All in all, more good than bad. :)

[UkraineMom]

That is great!
I know you are relieved!

[pocket]

Great! I hope your Dad will soon find relief.

[Slitter]

Whew! Although it is never good when the doctors find something wrong, there's definitely a scale. Sounds like your dad came out on the right end of it. Thanks for letting us know how things went.

[Gabby]

They waited all day and never did get to see the neurosurgeon. Dad talked them into letting him go home for the night.

:)

[frawniemae]

I'm glad the news is as good as it is. Hopefully he'll rest better at home. Ask about botox shots for the pain. Mama gets the shots in her back 2-3 times a year for her osteoarthritis/ osteoporosis which has caused her to lose almost 6 inches in height. Her spine in crumbling and compressing the nerves and the shots help immensely. A nuerologist does it in her office. Medicare pays.

[Fuel]

My dad had an MRI in the middle of the night that took over 2 hours. Not comfortable!



Yeah, full spine MRI's are not fun.

Hopefully he will not need to do surgey, perhaps there is an injection that will help.

[Gabby]

I got a call on Christmas Day that Dad was back in the hospital. He wasn't able to climb the stairs in his house on Christmas Eve and he couldn't even find the energy to form words.

My brother and mom took him in to emergency. They gave him steriods and a blood transfusion and redid the MRI. The neurosurgeon is recommending surgery, but they have to wait for his hemoglobin counts to improve (and they're getting a second opinion). My brother and nephew are here for our family Christmas, but that will be postponed (in case dad can come home for a day or two).

When I saw him yesterday, he didn't seem "that bad" to me. He is taking oxygen (the transfusion often makes it hard for your lungs/heart to work) and he's waiting to hear from the surgeons.

[Virgo6]

Sorry, to hear the news Gabby. Every night I mention him in my prayers. It must be so hard for him to start feeling better from his treatments and now have this to deal with. A second opinion is always a good idea. Thoughts are with you all.

[Slitter]

I'm sorry to learn there is more bad news. Hopefully he can avoid the surgery but it seems like something certainly needs to be done. You will be in my thoughts.

[pocket]

Get all the opinions you can get. It's hard to get all the answers, sometimes. The neurologist is thinking of his specialization and the pinched nerve. His general doc should determine if he's strong enough to go through with the ordeal of a surgery first and foremost. He's in my prayers and I'm hoping for a good resolution for him.

[Gabby]

There's no way that they can do the surgery now (that was the second opinion, too). He's just too weak. He has almost no muscle mass anymore (he looks like he's been in a POW camp for a year).

My youngest brother is certain that we're at the end. A rehab doctor came to give him some PT exercises yesterday and dad wouldn't even attempt them. My other brother is ready to give dad an ultimatum: choose to get better or choose to die. (I think that's a little harsh given that what he's done this year). They've just had it.

I think that the doctors are overlooking the obvious. He's starving to death still. Since there's no fat at all, his body is turning on his muscles (including his heart). They never solved the mystery of why he can't gain weight. Sure, the nerve-pinch thing would explain the numbness, but it doesn't explain why he can't lift/move his arms and legs. I wonder why he wasn't on steriods this whole time.

Thanks again for your prayers. The only thing I'm certain of is that he can't come directly home. My mom cannot care for him now. He's going to have to go to a rehab facility or hospice. That conversation will have to come today or tomorrow.

[tahitisweetie]

:( :(

[mel]

Thinking good thoughts for all of you, K. Hang in there.

[Virgo6]

Gabby, I do think that your brother is being alittle harsh right now. Your dad's body is probably breaking down and he is just so worn out and tired of fighting. He isn't choosing to live or die, his body just doesn't have the strength to exercise or heal itself. I can't even imagine what is going on in his head. He is certainly aware that your Mom can't take care of him anymore, but that conversation about a rehab or hospice facility is going to have to take place. Does Your Mom must be so upset over this. My parents live so far away from me and in their 80's. Though they are in relatively good health, a day doesn't go by that I don't wonder if I will get "the call".
He needs all the love and support you can give him now. Has anyone talked to the drs. about him starving? What is he fed? Hugs to all of you.

[Slitter]

Gabby, it's so hard to know what to say. You are carrying a heavy burden for sure. The poor man has been though so much he must be exhausted. It's hard to keep on fighting when you've about run out of bullets. I agree your brother is being overly harsh - probably because he is frightened himself. Hopefully you can talk him out of saying that out loud.

I think all you can really do is support his decisions and spend as much time with him as you can. Whatever happens you won't regret that. Maybe the doctors will figure something out yet. :hug2:

[Fuel]

Gabby, so sorry to hear this news. Don't know the words to say right now but hopefully things will improve.

[frawniemae]

I'm sorry that you and your family are going through such a trying time. All of you must be mentally exhausted. Know that you and yours are in our thoughts and prayers.

[Jac-Kuch-ie]

You and your family are in my prayers, Gabby.

[Gabby]

My dad missed my big "Polish Christmas Dinner" this year and he really loves kielbasa. My mom asked the dietician if it would be okay if he had a little and she said, "As long as we don't know about it."

We took that to mean that it was okay...so today I sneaked in a thermos of the garlic-iest kielbasa known to man. (For those of you who don't know, the Mid-Western Polish traditional kielbasa is "fresh" not smoked and it is very, very, garlicy). Two days ago, he couldn't have held the thermos, but today he held it and ate every bite. Of course, just as he opened it the nurse came in to test his blood sugar. She just laughed.

He enjoyed it much more than the beef stew that came on his tray about a half-hour later. :) He'll probably have horrible heart burn later tonight, but it was worth it.

[Irishlass]

I'm so glad your dad was able to enjoy his smuggled kielbasa. ;) I'm sorry your family has had this to deal with this over the holidays. I'm keeping all of you in my prayers.

[Slitter]

Good job! I bet that made his day. :)

[Gabby]

It's been a very long week at the Gabby household.

In a nutshell, my dad has turned his care over to hospice. He is at home. We believe that it will only be a matter of days. Those of you who have been through this know that it is a roller coaster ride. One moment it seems that he will only live another minute, and the next he is alert and you think it will be a month.

My dad did not want to give up his fight and it was very hard for us to tell him that "there was no way out." His brother was the one that finally had to tell him flat out that he was going to die. The family has been able to share a lot of laughter this week and it is a comfort to have him home.

Charlie wanted to know that we were ONE HUNDRED percent sure that the doctors had done EVERYTHING they could. Tommy went straight to "will Grandma have enough money."

I have been away from school all week, but am blessed with the tcrooms who are taking care of the testing and review for my classes during the week before exams. My plan is to keep vigil until Sunday, but I will probably go back to work on Monday/Tuesday.

Thanks again to all of you for supporting us this year. We all know that this year has strengthened our belief in the good of others and the value of their thoughts and prayers.

[tahitisweetie]

My thoughts continue to be with you Gabby.

[Irishlass]

((((((Gabby))))))

I'm so sorry to hear this. I pray God will be with you and yours at this time.

[miranda]

Gabby...my continued thoughts and prayers. You are right, this can be a roller coaster..I have been there myself. First with my dad in 1996 and now with my mom. I am an only child but thankfully I have a wonderful husband and 3 great daughters. I know you must know how just having the support of loved ones is so important. I pray for comfort and peace for your dad, you and your family.

[pocket]

I'm so sorry that your Dad is failing, Gabby. I'd hoped he'd have a better outcome, but we never know going into these struggles what lies ahead. That's a good thing. I'm glad you all made more good memories along the way to sustain you. Your mom and dad, you and your family will remain in my prayers.

[Fuel]

So sad to hear the news. My thoughts go out to you and your family.

[Gabby]

I have created a caringbridge website for my dad (like Marielle's). The messages of support are wonderful, but the phone ringing off the hook is hard to keep up with!

If you'd like to send a message: Link to Caring Bridge (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/charlesmatthews)

[svecki]

Gabby, My heart goes out to you and your family. Stay strong and always remember all the good times. My prayers will continue to go out for you.

[Slitter]

You and your family are in my thoughts too. My heart goes out to you as you go though this difficult time. I hope you dad finds comfort in being at home and surrounded by his loving family. Hugs to you all.

[Texas Kelly]

:(

Cherish this time, no matter how much of it you have. Take some comfort in that fate was merciful enough to grant you time and not take your father from you suddenly and cruelly. Know that you've got family and friends to help you through the darkness when the end does come, whenever that might be. We're here for you, Gabby.

[patchiepoopoo]

Your father, family, and you are in my prayers.

I know the pain you are going through. I lost both of my parents within 6 months of each other. That was the worst year of my life.

Hang in there Gabby.
God will give you the strength you need.

:hug2:

[Slitter]

Gabby, I assumed you meant for the Caring Bridge post to be in this thread so I moved it for you.

For anyone who missed it, it's on the previous page.

[Tiberius]

Gabby…I am very sorry…hospice is an outstanding organization and will offer you and your dad and the rest of your family excellent support. But that does not make it any easier does it…. *hugs* sorry a tad unsure of what to say here….my thoughts are with you….

[Jac-Kuch-ie]

I haven't been posting much, but I wanted to let you know you and your family are in my prayers.

[Mouse9]

I'd also like to let you know that you are in my prayers, all of your family. ((((hugs))))) and more ((((hugs))))

[frawniemae]

Thinking about you and yours and praying for comfort...

[Gabby]

Chuck passed away peacefully this morning. The family is thankful that he was able to have this time at home surrounded by the love that has sustained him throughout his life.

There are no regrets about how the end came. Everyone is doing very well. The memorial service will be on Wednesday.

Peace and love to all of you who have been my cyber family for so long.

[Slitter]

Gabby, I am so sorry for your loss but also grateful that the Chuck was able to find his rest peacefully and without prolonged suffering.

Hugs to you and your family. (((((Gabby)))))

[Irishlass]

Gabby, please accept my deepest sympathy on the loss of your father. I know this is a hard time for all who loved Chuck, but be comforted in the fact that you all surrounded him with love during his last days. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the rest of your family. (((((Gabby)))))

[Virgo6]

Gabby,
So sorry for your loss. I am sure no words can take away the pain right now, but just know that everyone here is with you and the family in our thoughts and prayers. May God wrap his arms around Chuck and give him the peace he deserves after such a long fight. Find comfort in your memories.

[pocket]

Gabby, I'm sorry to hear the news of your Dad's passing. I'm glad he was in a loving and peaceful place in mind and body and that his tribulations are over. Your family will remain in my prayers.

[Tiberius]

Gabby I am so sorry to hear of your fathers passing. I wish I could write as well as the posts above mine…if I could, those would be my thoughts as well….

[tahitisweetie]

{{{{{ Gabby }}}}}


Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

[Jac-Kuch-ie]

I am sorry, Gabby.

[frawniemae]

I'm sorry for your loss. I know your dad was loved to the max. I'm sure he knew it, too. hugs

[patchiepoopoo]

My deepest sympathy is extended to you and your family in this time of sorrow.

I am so sorry for the loss of your father.

[spf15]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

[JayDee]

Gabby -
I am so sorry for your loss. Loosing a parent is so difficult and changes you forever. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Fuel]

Sorry to hear the passing of your father. You and your family in in our thoughts.

[Kramer]

Oh Gabby :hug2: I am so sad to read this post. My heart aches for you and your family, even though you try to put on your brave face, I do know how much you hurt right now :hug2:

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

If there is ANYTHING I can do, please do not hesitate to ask.

[Kramer]

I just wanted to share this poem with you, I know it made me feel better to read it after my sister died and I am hoping you find the same comfort from it that I did:

"IN THE LIGHT"

A shadow of joy flickered; it is me.
I told you I wouldn't leave.
My spirit is with you.
My memories, my thoughts are
imbedded deep in your heart.
I still love you.

Do not for one moment think
that you have been abandoned.
I am in the Light.
In the corner, in the hall, the car, the yard --
these are the places I stay with you.

My spirit rises every time you pray for me,
but my energy comes closer to you.
Love does not diminish, it grows stronger.

I am the feather that finds you in the yard,
the dimmed light that grows brighter in your mind,

I place our memories for you to see.
We lived in our special way,
a way that now has its focus changed.

I still crave your understanding and
long for the many words of prayer
and good fortune for my soul.
I am in the Light.

As you struggle to adjust without me,
I watch silently.
Sometimes I summon up all the strength of my new world
to make you notice me.
Impressed by your grief,
I try to impress my love
deeper into your consciousness.

As you should,
call out to the Heavens for help.
You should know that the fountain of youth does exist.

My soul is now healthy.
Your love sends me new found energy.
I am adjusting to this new world.
I am with you and I am in the Light.

Please don't feel bad that you can't see me.
I am with you wherever you go.
I protect you,
just as you protected me so many times.

Talk to me and somehow I will find a way
to answer you.
I see you with my new eyes.
I am learning to help wherever you are,
where ever I am needed.
This can be done because I am in the Light.

When you feel despair, reach out to me.
I will come.

My love for you truly does
transcend from Heaven to Earth.
Finish your life with the enthusiasm and zest
that you had when we were together in the physical sense.
You owe this to me, but more importantly,
you owe it to yourself.

Life continues for both of us.
I am with you because I love you
and I am in the Light...

~ Author unknown

[Gabby]

Perfect, Kramer. We are going today to the golf club to spread dad's ashes. If I can muster up the courage, I may try to read this.

The memorial service was beautiful. My brothers and I shared the eulogy and I did it exactly how I wanted to: without tears. I practiced a lot and MrG told me that I would do it because I wanted to and the strength and composure would come. Over 500 people came. Amazing.

I thought you might want to read what I said.


The day my father and mother found out that Chuck’s diagnosis was pancreatic cancer, was my son Tommy’s birthday. The Michigan branch of the Matthews family had planned to gather that evening to celebrate. There was only a brief time when we questioned whether or not to continue with our plans for the party. The decision was made to continue, and that one decision set in motion a year of putting family before fear and celebrations before sorrow.

It was December and the holidays were upon us. It wasn’t long before the Colorado Matthews had joined us for Christmas and one of the most important holidays in the Matthews’ tradition: bowl season.

The one thing that is certain about cancer is that nothing is certain. Our year lay before us all, and no one knew what that year would bring – or if we even had a year. What we knew for certain was we had was a father who was willing to give it one more fight and a mother who was determined to do what she could to help him.

In the musical RENT, there is a song the cast sings as their friend dies. Seasons of Love asks the question, “How do you measure a year in the life?” I did not inherit my dad’s singing voice, so I will not sing it for you. This week, my mother brought those lyrics to my attention because she felt they reflected how she viewed this last year and her strong belief that this year was a gift to us all.

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Moments so dear
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure - Measure A Year?

We measured those moments in birthday parfaits and snitzel with noodles,
Dad measured them in rounds of golf and hockey games.

We measured in visits from family and old friends,
In cards from around the world and the prayers of friend and complete strangers.

We measured in his grandsons’ soccer and baseball games,
In a brand new HHR, and in a bathroom renovation project.

Cancer was always present, but never defining. Chuck was a fighter. Even the last month of his life, he held on to the hope that there would be life to fight for.

In the end, cancer did not take my father’s life.
Instead, cancer taught us all what it means to really live life -- so that our moments we measure are those filled with courage, patience, dignity, grace and most importantly love.

[tahitisweetie]

Of course you got through it with strength and courage ... You had a great inspiration and a life-long teacher in your father.

[Irishlass]

Gabby, I'm sure your father's memorial service was a beautiful tribute to a wonderful man. Isn't it amazing how much inner strength we can muster when we need to? I'm sure all of the thoughts and prayers for you and your family have helped you get through past few days. Your family has been on my mind and in my heart, God love you all.