Ailing Feline Family Member

[Irishlass]

It's a sad, sad evening at the Irish homestead. Our beloved kitty is in serious health trouble. I have posted Snickers stories here in the past. She is so much a member of our family. She came to us at the age of 5 weeks, a tiny tortoise shell fur ball. She eased the transition from full house to empty nest for us. She was my constant companion through Mr. Irish's heart attack and his car accident.

A couple of weeks ago Mr. Irish was rubbing her chin (one of her favorite things). He noticed a small lump under her jaw bone. I called the vet's office and explained, they couldn't see her for a few days and then we were going to be gone for a week. We scheduled an appointment for today. When we got home the lump had gotten larger. The vet took one look today and the news is not good. She has cancer and it is a rapid growing varity. The only possible treatment would be to remove her jawbone and to put her on chemo for a month. Then the absolute best outcome would be 5 or 6 months of life. He also said the cost would be between $3500 and $5000. Ironically, he had just gone through the same thing with his Golden Retriever a couple of months ago. He told us we could start treatment or consider euthanasia. We have decided to have her put down. This is killing me, at this point she really isn't acting sick. He recommended bringing her home for the weekend and talking it over. He suggested we not let her suffer and I don't want that either. But I hate the thought of putting her down when she is acting okay. It's gonna' be a very long weekend.

[Gabby]

I'm so sorry to hear this.

Is it possible to let her live until she does show signs of pain/stress? That's what my mom did with her cat. He didn't suffer and she got a little more time.

Hugs to you. I know this is very, very hard.

[Slitter]

Oh, Irish, I am so sorry to read this. I agree with Gabby. If she isn't in pain and seems otherwise happy and healthy, maybe you can keep her for a bit longer. Maybe you can ask the vet about that on Monday.

However that goes, I know how hard this is for you. Why is the right thing to do so often the most difficult? :hug2:

[pocket]

I'm so sorry, Irish. That's a hard diagnosis to hear, and I agree with keeping her at home until she starts acting ill. Most of us have had pets we have had to euthanize and it's very tough. We'll be thinking about Snickers and her human family.

[tahitisweetie]

I'm sorry, IL.

[Virgo6]

So sorry to hear about your sweet Snickers. I can totally understand what thoughts you are having now because I have been in that situation. It is not easy making a decision for a pet, but you will know in your heart that you are doing what is right. Cats are not like dogs. Dogs let you know when they are sick, but cats tend to hide how they really are feeling. I did the "wrong" thing for my cat Smokey several years ago and it still haunts me. I made a promise to never do that again. Smokey was 20 when she passed and I should have put her to sleep a few years earlier, but I didn't want to let her go. She was suffering and I was stupid. I kept that promise when my 7 yr. old Guinea Pig started showing signs that her body was slowly breaking down. She was acting fine except she didn't eat, drink or go to the bathroom. Rue lived a very long life and the emergency Vet said he had never seen one live that long. He said he could put her through tests but it would only stress her more. I felt terrible having her put to sleep, but I knew it was right and I don't regret it. I agree with the others that if Snickers is still eating and acting okay bring her home to be with the people she loves. You will notice when the time comes to make the final decision. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Fuel]

So sorry to hear the news.

We dealt with this a year ago, and it was tough. Perhaps you can enjoy her a little longer if Snickers shows no signs of pain.

[Tiberius]

Irish, I am sorry to hear that. I recently had to put my 20 year old cat down. I knew it was coming…I let him go till he showed signs of pain. The vet and I would joke about hospice but that is about what it was, I made sure he was ok and he was able to function. But then one day he jumped off my lap to the floor and then sort of fell over, he got back up but with too much effort and the next day I took him in. It is an awful decision but I know I did what was best for him. Don’t mean to go all “Hot topics” on you but really…it is too bad this option is not available for humans as well. Just my opinion… Whatever you decide will be in your cat’s best interest, go with your gut and don’t second guess. That’s the best we can do really…


The animal rescue site…A click a day will help a stray….
www.theanimalrescuesite.com

[frawniemae]

I remember when I had to have my Tigger put to sleep. It was a tough tough thing but once I had made the decision, I knew it was the right one. I kept her as happy as I could for about three weeks after she had been diagnosed with feline leukemia. When she quit eating and using her litter box, I knew it was time. Thwe night before I took her to the vet for the last time, I held her as much as she'd let me and just cried and cried.

I know what you're going through and I'm sorry you have to go through this pain. But it's what we have to face when we fall in love with our pets.

Many hugs to you and your Snickers.

[Irishlass]

Thanks, everyone, for your concern and support. It has been a roller coaster day. Snickers hung out with Mr. I as usual this morning while he ate breakfast. After that she disappeared to her favorite spot on the porch and just stayed there the rest of the day. She did eat a little this morning. Her littler box wasn't used in over 18 hours. It was like she was trying to separate herself from us. We went to visit the Sillywilly family this evening. When we returned home Snickers met us at the door. She was ready for her dinner and ate most of it. She climbed up on the back of my chair while we were watching TV and she is still sleeping there. This afternoon I was seriously thinking we should get this over with the first of the week, now I'm having second thoughts.

We had another cat who lived to be over 18 years old. She suffered from kidney failure and we kept her alive longer than we should have. She was in discomfort and we just kept hanging on. It was more for us than for her. We swore that we would never do that to another animal. Now here we are again and we don't want to do it too soon, but we also don't want to be responsible for her suffering. We are being told that we will know when it is time.............I hope that is true.

[Slitter]

You know Snickers' behavior patterns better than anyone else. All you can do is use your best judgement. :hug2:

[Gabby]

Hang in there, Irish. You will know when it's time.

:hug2:

[snip the elf]

You and Mr.I must be going through some hard times. My family did with my dog of 14 years.
They are really like family members and when they die it's just as hard as losing an actual human family member to some people.
Enjoy this time you have left with her, at least you know her time is near and you can give her that one last hug....or one last play with some string etc. Take some pictures and maybe even a home movie if you can.

[Irishlass]

Snickers had a good day today. She has eaten her normal amount of food and visited her litter box a couple of times. She watched the hummingbirds at the feeder from her favorite spot on the porch. We've decided to watch her closely and at the first sign of distress we'll make that call to the vet.

I have a question for those of you who have been through this. Did you stay with your pet when they were euthanized? When we had our other cat put down neither of us felt we could stand to watch. I have been okay with that, but Mr. Irish has always regretted that he didn't stay with her. I know it's kinda' morbid, but I'd like to hear how you handled the situation.

[sillywilly]

When we had to have Oscar euthanized, I did a lot of research and reading online as to what we should do. I concluded that it would be best for one of us to be there with him during the procedure... Both of us couldn't go, because someone had to stay home with the little Sillywillys. We felt that Oscar would be more comfortable with one of his family there with him. We felt that it would only add to his stress and discomfort if we just took him and dropped him off.

Mr. Sillywilly was great about offering to take him. I really couldn't handle the thought of driving him to the vet and being there during the procedure by myself. But, Mr. Sillywilly said that it was a very peaceful time. The vet was very supportive and gentle during everything... the entire staff was.

A very good friend of mine from work also had to have a cat euthanized about a year ago. His entire family was in with the cat during its last moments. From what I hear, there wasn't a dry eye anywhere in sight. But, they all wanted to be there for their four-legged friend.

Hang in there and just listen to your heart. You'll know what is right... even though it is tough.

[Irishlass]

Now I'm sitting here crying for two reasons..............the impending loss of our pet and the wonderful words of wisdom that just came from my child.

[snip the elf]

I would go and try holding the cat if they let you. let the cats last few minutes be with someone they love and are comfortable with.

[AvecLion]

Shadow was my dog, an enthusiastic Shepard-Lab mix with hints of Great Dane in her blood. I was living with my parents when they gave her to me and they were just as attached to her as I was. When they made the decision to move to Florida six years later, I reluctantly let her go with them. I was moving into a duplex, they were moving into a house. They had a yard, I wouldn't. They were home all day, I wasn't. As much as I wanted to keep her, I knew she'd be better off with them.

On one of our visits down, I noticed she was out of sorts and wasn't as playful as usual. My parents pointed out that she was 9 now, and even though she always acted like a puppy around me, she was getting up there. I asked them to take her in anyways. They told me the vet didn't find anything to worry about. About a month or so later, she started getting bumps all over. Back to the vet. Benign tumors.

Within six months, everything went to hell. Shadow stopped eating. And when she did manage to eat, she didn't defecate. Her coat got dull and she started shedding big time. This time, the vet's news wasn't good. My parents called me and told me the vet ran a lot of tests. Two days later they called with the results. Shadow had cancer. We discussed options. I stayed up all night going over the pros and cons. And finally, the next night I called them and said I thought the most humane thing to do would be to put her down. They made the appointment for a week away.

Unfortunately, a few days before the appointment, Hurricanes Charley, Frances and Jeanne intervened. Things were barely restored from one when the next one hit. An appointment that was supposed to be in early September finally happened just before Halloween.

I wasn't there with her. I always regretted it, but I try to console myself with the fact she did have 4 years of attention that I couldn't give her- time to roam free and unleashed in a fenced yard, the chance to walk on the beach and splash in warm water - things I couldn't have given her. And she never once forgot me. Every visit, 2-3 times a year, she always greeted me the same unique way she had the 6 years I was with her.

My parents stayed for a bit, but left before the drugs took effect. I don't blame them for leaving her. She was suffering so much at the end, and things had to be delayed until roads were cleaned up and power restored. I don't think I could have sat by those last few weeks, knowing there was nothing I could do.

It needed to be done.

But That doesn't mean I had to like it.

It's almost three years now and there is still only one Shadow. She was practically human. She barely barked. She could ring the doorbell when she was ready to come in. Opened doors (well, she never got the hang of screen door handles), turned lights on and off, watched TV, danced with me and the kids, slept on a couch with her head on a pillow and covered herself with a blanket. Answered the phone when it rang (knocked it off the hook and would "speak' into it) She wasn't taught these things...she just started doing them. One of a kind. She didn't deserve the pain and suffering she went through.

Sophie joined my parents two years ago. She's the spitting image of Shadow. My mom said they act a lot alike. Eventually, I'll go meet her. Just not yet.

[Virgo6]

Unfortunately, when we put our Dalmation to sleep it was under a different circumstance than normal. Clancy was deaf and 11 yrs. old. He was always just a family dog and sort of aggressive to strangers. We would put him in another room or his pen outside when people came over. One night we went out to eat with our children and when we came home we found our cat Smokey and Clancy running around the backyard and cop cars in front of our house. We had been robbed and our neighbor saw the group of teens leave the house and called the cops. They never were caught until until a couple of years later. Anyway, Clancy had been sleeping on one of the kids beds when the teens broke in. Being deaf he never heard them until they were leaving from the backdoor. He must have attacked one of them because there was blood on the door handle. But before the teens left they beat Clancy with a kitchen chair and God knows what else.
He was never the same and became so aggressive with the family. He attacked my husband one night when he came home from a Christmas party. Ripped his arm apart. I was pregnant with my youngest and I think the dog was protecting me cause he was lying on the end of the bed. We made the decision that we had to put the dog to sleep. We were afraid of him and didn't want him hurting our children. We talked to the Vet and he gave us pills to knock the dog out so we could handle taking him to the office. We all sat in the livingroom and I gave the dog a piece of ham with the pills in it. Would you believe the pills didn't work. Every time one of us would get up he would do. The kids petted him and told him how much they loved him. He would lie down and then hear something and wake up. We had a time frame to get him to the Vet and it just wasn't going to happen. He had lost his collar during the robbery and there was no way we were going to get another one on him because he would growl. This dog was so loving with my family before this happened. I trusted him completely. At this point I called the Vet's office and they were closed. I called the shelter and found out that they were opened until 5pm. The pills started to work and I finally got a chain collar around his neck. I was upset and frightened of getting bit but he was okay. Got him into the car, my husband drove and Clancy was in the back seat with his head on my shoulder. I felt so bad. Then I got to the shelter and no one would handle him because he was growling and nasty. I had to actually walk my dog into the gas chamber. And as this was happening the low life by the door said to me "wow, what a beautiful dog why are you doing this". I ran back to the car hysterically crying. It still haunts me.
But when I put my Guinea Pig to sleep I took her to an emergency Vet which is open 24 hrs. They weren't around when Clancy was here. I asked to hold her and the Vet said "no, you wouldn't want to see this" Its not like a cat or dog he explained. They don't have veins for IV and they just put a needle into their heart.
They were so nice there and let me hold her for however long I wanted and when I cried they had tears in their eyes too. After she was gone they wrapped her up in a baby blanket with a felt heart on it that had her name so I could bury her in the yard. Couldn't have asked for a better experience when I was hurting so much. They had compassion. My youngest daughter works in an animal hospital and she said there are many times she and the other staff members cry with the people. I would suggest that one or both of you stay with Snickers too. Hugs!!!

[Irishlass]

Thanks for the wonderful stories about your pets. Snickers has, so far, had another good day. She found a cricket and played with it a bit before she pulled a couple of its legs off, fun for her, not so much for the cricket. She ate her normal breakfast and had a little "snack" when Mr. Irish came home a while ago. I keep watching for signs of distress........the only thing I have noticed is a little head shaking, like she is trying to dislodge something.

[Mouse9]

Dear Irishlass,

I'm so sorry about Snickers. (such a cute name) I've never had to put a pet down, so, I've never had a point of reference until just this last Wednesday. Now I know and it isn't a fun event.

Last Wednesday my dog wouldn't drink any water and you could tell she was in misery. So my husband took her to the vet. $700 later we find out that they don't know what caused her illness but are calling her illness HGE. Her blood was so thick her heart was having difficulty pumping. They took all types of xrays and blood samples and immediately put her on an IV. We picked her up each night and brought her home because we knew it would've cost a lot to have a night nurse. My husband stayed up with her since I had school to teach. The first two days were scary, but on Friday we could tell she was feeling better. She was wagging her tail when I took her to the vet for her last day on the IV. She is now on a low residue food diet to help her intestines adjust back to food and taking amoxicillin and something else. Yesterday I took her for a short walk and she gets tired still but I am sure she's going to be fully recovered soon.

So, I thought when we went into the consulting room that I was going to be told that my dog would need some horribly expensive surgery and knowing that we wouldn't be able to afford that, we would have to make that dreaded decision. I guess in a way it is just being put off. It could happen again, since they don't know what caused it. I'm wondering if she drank something on a walk that she shouldn't have. She seemed to only want fresh drinking water and won't drink water left in her dish. Now I even got a new dish because I think she was associating her illness with the old one. (dumb of me probably).

We have decided and warned the kids that we can't put out that kind of money every time if it should happen again. (We actually spent over $830 total.) Jinger is only 3 years old. Yes, I know they have insurance for pets now. I just don't know if we could afford that, right now. But, I will keep it in mind if a time comes and I think we could afford it.

All that to say I really empathize with you and will be praying for you and your family.

My daughter asked if something happened to Jinger if we could get a new puppy right away. I said not until summer... when I am around to potty train it. I thought that was a good sign for my daughter. She now has gerbils and I hear they only live for 2-3 years. I think she will be able to handle it even though she loves them. (I don't think a gerbil can really compare to cats and dogs, though. I could be wrong.)

[Tiberius]

Virgo and Avec, (and mouse too, I think you posted when I was writing) you were kind to share that…very difficult stories…

Irish I am sorry I missed something…what did your kid say, and I am sorry you are crying …

I stayed with my cat so he could snuggle up to me… which he did, and that alone is enough to kill you when it happens. But you should do what your comfortable with…I stayed with a dog… many years back and went hysterical…just flipped out on the vet’s office…I should not have attempted that at that point in my life. You really will know what to do…it just sort of happens and you sort of go with it...at least that is what happened to me..

[Irishlass]

Irish I am sorry I missed something…what did your kid say, and I am sorry you are crying …


Tiberius, Sillywilly is my daughter. I was talking about the post she made.

[Tiberius]

Oh! ohohoh...ok I got it...thanks for the clarification...

[frawniemae]

When the time came for me to let my Tigger go, I was there with her, looking into her eyes and her looking right back at me. She looked thankful, that she wasn't hurting anymore. Hard stuff but I wouldn't have done it any other way. She was "my" Tigger.

It sounds like Snickers is having a good time right now. Maybe you'll have a happy cat for awhile longer. If not, you'll know when to let her go. Don't rush it. You will know when it's time. And Snickers will thank you with her eyes.

[Irishlass]

Thanks to you all for sharing your stories and thoughts. Snickers is still with us. She had an okay day, but this evening she didn't eat her dinner. The more I read about this, the more confused I get. I found a couple of websites that believe cats hide their pain from their owners. Their thinking is that when the condition is terminal, it is better to euthanize before the animal shows signs of pain and distress. Others, like most of you, say that when it is time I will know. My question is when the time is right for my pet or when the time is right for me?

[pocket]

I think the signs are not drinking or eating, or using the litter box, and when they don't feel well, the inner eyelid shows more.

My Simon used to avoid his favorite spots and find new ones when he wasn't well. I don't know if that's typical or not.

[Slitter]

It would definitely be a sign that it is time for her and not for you. In addition to what Pocket said, I think you just want to watch for behavior that is just decidedly out of the ordinary. Since Snicker's tumor is on her chin, I expect that physical pain would manifest around her mouth. If she won't let you touch her near there and keeps not eating, those could be signs. If she slinks off and won't socialize (it sounds like she is pretty social) that could be one. If she takes to crawling under furniture and doesn't ordinarily do that, it could be a sign too.

My first family pet was a dog. She crawled under the back porch when she'd been sick for a while (she had developed epilepsy in her old age) and wouldn't come out. She was a very social dog so that was unusual in itself. As far as this dog was concerned, the sun rose and set on my mom. So Mom went out and talked quietly to her for a while and then slowly reached under the porch to bring her out and was sharply bitten for her trouble. Both of these things together were such extraordinary behaviors for her, that my parents decided that it was time. I was pretty young at the time so there may have been other details I am not remembering or maybe never even knew.

We had other pets but they either exhibited sudden but obvious physical effects or just passed naturally in their sleep.

[Irishlass]

............ passed naturally in their sleep.

Oh, how I wish that would happen for Snickers. Sadly, the way the vet talked, that will not happen in her case.

[Irishlass]

Sadly, I'm seeing "signs". Last night Snickers got into bed with Mr. I and me. She hasn't done that in a very long time. She snuggled right up next to me and spent most of the night there. This morning when she tried to eat Mr. Irish heard a little whimper. I have also noticed her pawing and scratching at her lump a couple of times today. I had a lengthy dental appointment this morning and she was in the exact same spot when I came home as when I left (about 4 hours later).

[Slitter]

:hug2: It sounds like she may be showing some early signs. If so, when the whimpers and pawings become frequent enough that it breaks your heart as much or more to know she is being tormented than to imagine your home without her, you'll know it is time. It's still a judgment call though - and not an easy one.

[Irishlass]

Its over.............Snickers has arrived at the Rainbow Bridge. It became obvious today that this situation was not going to get any better and that it was time to let go before she suffered any more. I won't go into great detail, but it was time.
Our house feels very empty tonight, a good friend and companion has left us. Her unconditional love will always be remembered and she will always live in our memories. Thank you all for sharing this journey with me.

[Slitter]

:crying: I'm so sorry, IL.

[frawniemae]

(((Irish)))I'll be thinking of you...

[UkraineMom]

((((((IL))))))

I am so sad for you.....

[Gabby]

I hope that you'll find peace knowing that you did what was best for Snickers.

[Fuel]

Oh IL, so sad to hear. My thoughts go out to your family. Rough times.

[pocket]

I'm sorry, IL. You can take comfort in knowing she was well-loved and well cared for, and she was spared suffering.
Most of us have had pets we've had to have put to sleep, and it's an awful feeling, absolutely. You'll always love and remember Snickers....remember the good days.

[Tiberius]

Oh wow Irish...I am so sorry….You..ok...?

[Irishlass]

Thanks for the kind words. Tiberius, I have decided, in memory of Snickers, to go the the website you have in your signature (www.theanimalrescuesite.com) and click everyday.

[Tiberius]

Irish those cats and dogs thank you and Snickers :> It really is a neat site, they even show how the clicks alone are the biggest part of the fund raising. Although do look around a bit…the purple paw socks alone are worth an order.

[snip the elf]

I feel so sorry for your loss. :(

[Mouse9]

Dear IL,

So sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you and Mr. IL. I hope you have some neat pictures you can put up to remember some good times.



(Not to take away from your loss.)

P.s. Our dog got sick again, but we think it was because of eating a bone. It looked like she had a type of indigestion. (We remember that she had a bone before the first attack.) We did have to make her drink, again. Today she looks good. We have a syringe to give the water to her. She doesn't like it, but it's the best thing for her. Now she drinks her water by herself. Which means she is well again.

[Irishlass]

I hope your dog is okay, Mouse.

[calpurnia]

IL, I am bawling. I watched that movie 8 Below last night about the sled dogs, and even though it had a happy ending, I was bawling afterwards thinking about how I would feel if I lost a pet. I think you are being very brave. I don't have any human children and my dog and cats are my best friends. I just gave all of them a huge hug for you. The fat cat was not having it. But my dog Liberty sends you all kinds of wet sloppy kisses.

[Irishlass]

Thanks, Calpurnia, I can almost feel those wet puppy kisses. I don't think I've been very brave through this. Just getting by is more like it, there is a huge empty spot in our home. Tomorrow will be a week since Snickers left us, today is the first day I've made it all day long with no tears.

[Irishlass]

One last post to this thread. Today in the mail we received a card from the staff at the animal hospital where we took Snickers, the veterinary had written the following note in the card:

"I know how difficult this decision was for both of you but I am convinced it was the best one at the right time. Snicker's condition was deteriorating rapidly and she was loved far too much to allow her to suffer. My thoughts and prayers are with you."

Needless to say, I didn't make it through today dry-eyed. I do feel better about our decision after reading the vet's comforting words. Again, thanks to all of you for being here for me through this.

[Virgo6]

Irish, I was away and didn't know about Snickers. Its fine to feel the way you do, most of us have gone through the same thing. Snickers knows you did the best thing..........she was loved and always will be. My youngest daughter works in an animal hospital and she and the staff cry all the time when people such as you and Mr. Irish come in with a beloved pet. They know how hard it is but the words your Vet wrote in the card should be of great comfort to you.
I have a suggestion for a little memorial for Snickers. Whenever we lose one of our pets I would go out and find one of those resin key holder rocks or something similar to that with a little drawer underneath for a key. I would crop a small photo of the pet and leave enough room to type some special memories about it.
Then cut it to size and laminate it. I placed it in the little drawer and when I miss the pet I open it up and see its photo. We have one for many of the smaller pets like hamsters, Rue my Guinea Pig and my middle daughter's first chinchilla. Some day when my husband and I aren't around, my children can look in those drawers and remember their pets. Also I would plant tulip bulbs this time of year around those rocks and in the Spring there is a beautiful display.
If you would like to do this let me know and you can PM me and you can send me a photo and any information and I can make one up for you because I have a laminator. I made one for my oldest daughter's cat that recently was put to sleep and she tacked it to a tree at the animal cemetery where the cat's ashes are. Hugs to you and Mr. Irish.

[Tiberius]

That is neat Virgo! Irish, that is a good vet you got there!....

[Mouse9]

Dear IL,

You do have a great vet. Ours is pretty good, too. Every few days they called back checking on her. Jinger is all recovered now. We have decided no more bones for her unless they are the rawhide ones. (at least for a long, long, time and then only a small bone. We had ribs the week before the first attack and were giving her one or two a day for the next week. And the last one was a big bone my husband had gotten out of a pork roast he was cooking to make green chile stew.) I think he really felt bad when she got sick the second time. That is when we saw the correlation of her getting bones. I haven't had time to check back with the vet after his last call because she was fine and I didn't think about it. He called the day she got sick, but right before we saw signs of her getting sick again.

Now everyone around here keeps checking Jinger's nose to make sure it's cold and wet! I'm not sure she likes it.

[Summer]

Hello Irishlass,

I have been away from the boards for a while and just finished reading all 4 pages of love and concern regarding our other "best friends".

I am sorry for you and Mr. Irish's loss. What a gift of love you have shared.

Summer

[Tiberius]

Mouse, glad Jinger is doing better!