trip report

[frawniemae]

We made it to Big Bend and back without incident! Had a wonderful time! As soon as I get pics resized I will post some! Amazing scenery and you can really see forever out there! My avatar is one of the sunsets we caught.

Unfortunately, in route home, I got a message that mama had fallen and broken her left hip. So, this week has been a haze but she is doing somewhat better. Surgery went off without a hitch (which is nothing short of miraculous considering her age and physical condition) but the healing time will be a long, slow process. She has had so much pain meds she isn't really "here" right now but is slowly being weaned off of them. They had to wait 5 days before they could even do the surgery because of all the blood thinners in her system. She was pretty much in a drug induced comatose state durring that time. She is starting to be able to take some nutrition now. Physical therapy is waitng in the wings. This is the first day she has been able to actually swallow on command. She is one tough old bird but only time will tell if she'll actually be able to walk again.

I'm taking bets on what her first fully coherent sentence will be. I'm betting on " Damn, you mean I'm still here?" She is so tired of hurting and fighting for every breathe. I keep telling her that God isn't through with her yet. Her response: " Well, I wish he'd hurry up because I'm ready to go."

Keep her and my family in your thoughts please.

[Pepper]

Wow Frawnie, you've had a busy start to the new year. First, I can't wait to see your pictures. I LOVE traveling. And what better place than right here in the USA.
Second. Sorry to hear about mama. I hope she mends quickly. She sounds like she's pretty feisty. Whatever God's plan, I hope it's what she wants. Be strong.

[pocket]

Frawnie, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I'm glad she's been sedated so she hasn't been in pain, and hope the healing process goes OK.

I'll be looking forward to seeing your photos. That sunset is gorgeous !

[Slitter]

I'm sorry to hear about your mom's fall. I'm wishing all of you the best as you deal with another of life's curveballs.

I look forward to seeing the pics too.

[Irishlass]

Frawnie, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's fall. I'm glad you got your vacation in before this happened, at least you had a chance to relax before you were faced with this. My thoughts and prayers are with your mother and you and your family.

I'm looking forward to the pictures too.

[Fuel]

A very mixed message. Sorry to hear about your mom, hopefully she recover enough to walk again.

Sounds like you had a wonderful trip looking forward to the photos.

[Tiberius]

Aww Frawnie, I am really sorry to hear all this. Did she fall at the home? Are they thinking home PT or SNF for a bit?

[frawniemae]

Update on mom before the good stuff that hopefully I can upload... She seems to be coming off the pain meds enough to focus and make sense. She was able to go on a soft diet as opposed to a full liquid diet. She was hunnnngreeee!!!!! She inhaled that bowl of grits and loved the scambled eggs! First real food she'd had in a week...I'll be back up there for my shift tonight. Someone is staying with her 24/7 because she still can't/won't do anything for herself. Poco a poco...little by little...we'll get through it.

Tiberius...she had been living at a private assisted living home(PALH) past 6 months. Went to sit down inher chair and missed it, we guess. She is adamant about leaving her door shut so noone was witness to actually what happened and she hasn't been "here" enough to really say. I'm sure she'll be inpatient rehab for awhile once she can eat and drink on her own. The meds had her about as useful as limp noodle. Hopefully rehab will get her back to some form of mobility and we plan on her going back to her PALH in a few weeks.

Now, about that trip...

We broke the drive going in into segments, spending some time in San Antonio with his bro and one night in Sanderson Texas at the fab one star motel "Outback Oasis". Not too bad for the price. It was clean and comfortable. Up bright and early to make Big Bend by noon. Killed some time riding around towards the east side of the park before checking into the hotel in the Basin. Keep in mind the enormity of this national park...some 800,00 acres and one main road through it with some short "improved dirt or gravel roads" to take you into some of the backcountry area.

Our whole mileage on this trip was:
round trip driving a bit over 1400 miles

in the park driving was 427 miles

hiking mileage was right at 20 miles, broken up over the 5 days we were in Big Bend.

I'm not sure of the order of the pics so I'll post them then descibe them. Cross your fingers...

[frawniemae]

Well, whaddyaknow...Slitter your tutoring must have stuck!!

From left to right starting at top row:

1)Casa Grande from our hotel room door. It is about 7400' above sea level.
2)The desert awakens throught the Window, another view from near our room.
3) At the base of Upper Mesa Pouroff. In rainy weather this is a waterful that drains a part of the mountain range. It was about 100' to the top. From 100 yards away it looked as if I could climb right up to the cave. As I got closer, that thing got huge! 2o years ago I would have attempted it.
4)Looking downtrail at Grapevine Hills. Very unique rock formations to due "sperical weathering", which means everything is rounded off by wind and rain. Neat stuff!!
5) Some local flora. Ouch!!
6) Making sure that balanced rock is stable. Yep, it sure is!
7)Under the Balanced Rock. One of the most recognized photo op site in Big Bend. A fellow hiker came along just in time to snap this pic for us.
8) Believe me, there is a trail in there somewhere...we hiked it about 1 mile to try to get to a good spot to see the Window from underneath. Pretty much up the whole way.
9) View from as "under the window" as we could get. We still had to go back down that "trail"!
10) Learned that there are 5 species of prickly pear cacti.This is the purple tinged variety. Very pretty scattered among the rocky desert and going up the mountain sides.
11 and 12) Santa Elena Canyon- first one 2 miles away. Second at the mouth looking upcanyon at a 4 person raft just coming out of the 7 mile long canyon.
13) the beginning of a beautiful sunset! The sky was on fire!
14)The Sierra Carmen Mountains of Mexico at dusk.
15) As we were leaving the parking area for the Burro Mesa pouroff hike, I saw something move on the sidewalk. It was this huge tarantula out getting some sun. The days were upper 70s with nights into the low 20s.
16) One of the tornilla Flats HooDoos. These are sandstone formations that have been sculpted by wind and rain. Very fragle area. No real trail to them. Just park along the road and head across the desert til you get there. Not something you'd want to do in the summer...110 in the shade...IF you can find any.

We are planning another trip to Big Bend in the next year. Hopefully the kids can go this time. There is still so much more to see out there. I could go there 100 times and still not see it all. Most places are inaccessible to all but the true backcountry hiker. Thankfully I have found a message board whose members are made up of the backcountry folk...I'll see Big Bend through their eyes! Check it out if you're interested...
http://www.bigbendchat.com/

[Slitter]

Gorgeous pics, Frawnie! I don't think I've ever seen a purple cactus before. I didn't even know they came in purple. How far did you zoom your camera lens out to take that one of the spider? ICK! I am a sucker for sunrises and sunsets so I love those too as well as that canyon wall one. I'd be hard pressed to pick a fav from that bunch. :)

Didn't I tell you the more you did it the easier it would get? I was confident that once you did those first few you'd be able to do it again. Besides, I believe I remember you taking notes. ;)

Glad to hear your mom is getting more back to normal. Food is a good first step. I hope the pain isn't too bad. PLease tell her I am thinking of her and hope she gets well soon. I'm sure she has more hot sauces she'd like to torture me with the next time I am in your area!

[frawniemae]

I'd never seen that kind of cacti before either...I thought they were maybe dead or dying until we went on an informative nature trail that explaine dthe different species!

The tarantula was actually kind of ticked that I dared to take its picture! He moved away right after I "clicked". I cropped and resized but it would have covered up most of the palm of my hand had I been inclined to hold it.

And you're right...I did take notes but I did this from memory, since I couldn't find them!

I'll be sure to tell mama hi from you. She's more alert and becoming her old self (ie, arguing and griping about stuff:) ) so I know she's getting better! She had been on some heavy duty pain meds and since she is so sensitive to any kind of pain med these really did a number on her. But she's been without any for a bit over 24 hours now and no pain other than arthritis stiffness that Tylenol will help.

Maybe we can get her into rehab before this next week gets too far gone. Then we won't have to be there 24/7.

It;s still a long road ahead of us but maybe it won't be so bumpy now...

[Tiberius]

Glad you had such a nice trip! Sounds like your mom is doing better! Arguing is always a good thing ;> Your plan for her recovery sounds excellent, in patient rehab therapy and then back to her PALH where she can get home therapy. Yea like you said it may be a long road, but you have mapped it out so well, many of the bumps got removed.

[frawniemae]

Mom's not regaining her muscle control very fast. PT came in twice this weekend and mama couldn't een follow their simple instructions to move this foot or bend that knee. The road is looking longer...

Good news is her main caregiver at the PALH is willing to take her as she is. I trust Kathy in that she will do all that she can do to get mama back to some form of mobility. She won't give up until she has done all that can be done. So.....we are waiting to see what the rehab hospital folks say about her eligibility in going there before going home. Mama stilll has some confusion but that may not improve. In fact, I'm sure it won't. But she is herself enough to realize the situation she is in.

And I would have lost any bet had someone took me up on what she would first say. What she actually said was" Would you just let me do it myself?" (I was trying to help her get a drink of water.) I'd be glad to but she can't hold on to anything for very long and she can't quite get it to her mouth yet. Then she said "Well, sh*t..."

That's my mama ;) .

[Slitter]

LOL, the end of your post definitely got a chuckle from me. She is a spunky little old lady for sure. :)

The PT wanted her to move bits below the broken hip? I've never had a broken hip but it seems like that would HURT. I don't think I'd want to even try to move it.

Did I miss something along the way? Had she returned to her home before this fall? Last I remember she was still at Kathy's. :huh:

[Tiberius]

Well inpatient therapy is always best but there is merit to letting a confused elder return to their home. Confusion will sometimes clear….There is no place like home (or Kathy’s home :>) follow your gut…and the doctors advice…I am definitely thinking about you frawniemae! You’re an awesome daughter! In my line of work I don’t always meet people like you…you would be my dream come true with a client. Anyway please keep us updated.

[frawniemae]

The PT wanted her to move bits below the broken hip? I've never had a broken hip but it seems like that would HURT. I don't think I'd want to even try to move it.

A couple of years ago when she broke her left hip, she was up and walking on it (with assistance) within 2 or three days.
The difference bw then and now is her age and general physicla condition compounded by the type of break this recent one was. Loss of muscle during the almost 2 weeks she was flat on her back will take a long time to regain. She is more afraid of doing more damage to her hip than she actually will. She has developed what is called "dropsie". Her feet don't work right now unless you make her make them work. Everything is limp. Rag doll, overcooked spaghetti, limp. The hip isn't causing her pain. That is coming from being immoblie for so long and her arthritis stiffening her up.

She feels like Kathy's is "home" now. So that what we call it. Where she use to live is Misty's, my neice, who inherits the house when mama dies. She's living there now. So it's not "home" anymore. That was a hard thing for mama to come to terms with but she through herself one more pity party then got over it. She's in rehab now but I am too mentally worn out to try to post much about it. Suffice tosay that Kathy is not at all impressed with how they re doing things. She wants mama transferred to a local nursing home/ convalesence center. That may be more thatn mama can handle. She won't hear "convalesence center" =- she'll hear only "nursing home" and I'm afraid she may give up if she goes there. BUT Kathy and her sister (a home health nurse who also runs a PALH) believe that the nh/con will do mama better. We'll have to study on that a day or two and see how mama takes it. She won't believe that she will be going back to Kathy's if she goes to Oakwood., but that's not the case. Oh, well, I said I was too tired...I need to just chill awhile and read all the new posts ...

Thanks for the kind words, Tiberius...they mean a lot. I feel helpless yet I know I am doing all I can under the circumstances.

[frawniemae]

Can't believe its been nearly a week since I last updated mama's condition. And what a week...
Last post I stated she was in rehab. She went in on Monday evening (the 14th) By Wednesday afternoon (the 16th) her BP had taken a nose dive (41/30) so I requested they take her to ER. TG her main caregiver was sitting with her that day. Otherwise she may have died then and there. Mama was not ready to leave the hospital when they transferred her to rehab. Period. End of sentence. Anyway, back to the hospital we go. To make a very long story short...

Admitted to ER 1pm Wednesday
In room by 5pm
Dehydrated, extremely low blood pressure, bed sores worsening, unable to eat very hard time swallowing

By Thursday she was mostly unresponsive. Able to prod her awake just enough to give some water to her using a syringe because of mouth ulcers caused by having to take her meds crushed. Fairly common case of thrush. But mama's is so bad she can't even purse her lips to suck through a straw. Eventually giving meds became such an ordeal we were just about to say "forget it" for that dose but finally got her to swallow them.

By Friday morning (18th) her GP asked me to come into his office. Never a good thing. He could hardly look me in the eye. Basically said if we didn't have a feeding tube inserted, she would die.

Mama had said many years ago that she did not ever want to be kept alive that way. She has everything stated in her medical directive and living will what she wanted in case she had ever gotten to this point. So, we knew that the feeding tube wasn't an option.

By Saturday morning she became totally unresponsive and we could not get her to rouse enough to take in any fluids or nutritional supplements. To make everything else worse, she was (and had been on) antibiotics since she was admitted with the broken hip. This, combined with not taking in food, had left her with severe diarrhea for the past 6 days. What little we got in her came right back out. Nothing was being absorbed enough to do her body any good.



Her heart dr said he'd pretty much done all he could. It was time to to make a decision on what to do.

Saturday was a long hard day. Hospice was really our only option so that mama could go home and die in peace.We (me, my sis and my bro) talked and discussed all the who what whens and wheres of such a decision. We had questions concering her defibrillator. Would it continue to "kick start" her heart or would it quit and let her go when the time came. A critical care nursing friend explained the mechanics of it all. It would let her die when it was time.

This was somewhat of a comfort to know.

We hired a sitter to stay with her Saturday night because we knew that Sunday would be a tough day to get throughl We were to meet with the hospice people at 1:30 Sunday afternoon. The sitter was well aware of mama's condition and her prognosis. So off we all go to get whatever sleep and rest we could.

I contacted my church family. we called friends and asked them to pray for us all as we went throught the next few days. I asked God to let me know in some way that I was making the right decision in bringing her home with hospice.



Sunday morning the sitter calls and says mama is awake and talking. Drinking glass after glass of water and wants to know when she can go home!!! And would someone please get her something to eat that doesn't burn her mouth!

If this offends some, I'm sorry ...but PRAISE GOD! He let her come back! She may not be here for long but who knows? I do know this, though ...God allowed mama to come back to us for awhile. And we were able to tell her how sick she'd been and that we had even called hospice. We told her that if she didn't take a feeding tube, it was very likely she would die.She said that she did not want that. if it was her time, then let her go. She was at peace in knowing that her time was nearly up. Hospice was fine...just "let me go home".

Then, in comes her heart dr. Blood tests showed her kidneys were functioning much better. Her protein count was up. Whatever numbers needed to be down were down and whatneeded to be up was up! She didn't need the antibiotics anymore and she should be able to go home in a couple more days!

We tell mama and she just laid there and after a minute she said, "Well, hell, I don't know if I'm coming or going!"

We had people in and out visiting for most of the day. Even had a mini concert when a church member that mama just absolutley loves came in and sang for her.

Sunday was a very good day.

Monday is still good. Mama is awake and trying to eat. She even is wanting to move and use her legs which has not even been happening since the surgery. Her spirit is alive and strong.

Like I said... this may be just for a little while but I know now that if and when we get to that point again that she does not want us to do anything but let her go home and die.

Thank all of you who have kept us in your thoughts and prayers through this time.

I was thinking of changing my sigline but it is more fitting now than ever for me. Mama was just about ready to skid in but she's going to hang on for the ride a bit longer now.

[frawniemae]

well, life has thrown us another curve ball but it is one I know I've been expecting. She's been home at Kathy's for a week now. Mama did really well the first few days back at home but the last two days she has gone backwards a few steps. She evidently has a GI bleed going on (tests confirmed this) but a transfusion would require another trip to the hospital. This she does not want to do. "No more hospital". We know she is ready to die. For the most part we have come to terms with that, (Personally, I've been grieving her death for about 10 years...never knowing that if when I went to visit I'd find her dead in bed or in her chair from a heart attack).

She is now on hospice and that is what she wants. "Just let me go" is her repeated plea. So, we are...

Pray for quick and easy. She's ready to go "home".

[Slitter]

Frawnie, I somehow missed your previous post. I'm sorry for that as I would certainly have responded. I do love your mom's spirit.

I'm sorry for this last curveball but, yes, if it is to be her time, I hope she goes easily.

I know this time is hard on you and your family. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. ((((Frawnie))))

[Virgo6]

I too, missed your previous post. So sorry to hear that your mom is nearing the end of her journey. Its been very rough on you and the family but when the end comes you will know that you all did whatever you could to make her comfortable and feel loved. My prayer will be that she leaves this earth peacefully. Hugs, Frawnie.

[pocket]

How did we ALL miss your post of the 21st? I'm sorry I missed reading this, Frawnie.

As hard as this time is, all we can do is try to respect our loved ones' wishes....which you and your family are doing. I hope your mom passes without pain and discomfort. God give you strength to do handle whatever comes.

[Tiberius]

I also missed that post, just seeing it today. I too am sorry for the curveball. She is where she is comfortable, has her family around her and hospice support. If it is one’s time to go with God…that is a good place to be until one is called. My thoughts are with you and yours…hugs Frawnie.

[Irishlass]

Frawnie, I'm sorry, I missed this post too. Your entire family will be in my prayers.

[frawniemae]

I wondered why no one had responded to that post. I knew y'all hadn't left me high and dry. Just figured no one knew what to say...
But I'm glad to know I've got all this cyber support. Thanks for the good thoughts. We'll be alright. Mama had said she's not afraid of dying. She just wasn't looking forward to the process.

Who is?

[Slitter]

No, we definitely wouldn't leave you high and dry. They used to blame UFO sightings on mass hysteria but we obviously had a case of mass blindness going here.

I doubt anybody looks forward to the process but I think hospice will make things as easy and comfortable as possible. As I understand it, their main objective is comfort. Being at home with loving family all around has to be good too.

I'm sending you good thoughts for the strength to get through the coming days. I'm sure you are rushing around to try and do everything and still have time to spend with your mom. For all that we managed to collectively miss that earlier post, I know I am not alone in thinking of you.

[Gabby]

Frawnie -- I finally got to this thread. I am so sorry that I took so long to read (what I thought) was your vacation thread.

:hug2:

How are things going?

[mel]

Oh for goodness sake. I also missed this and feel terrible about it.

Much love and good thoughts for you and your family, Frawnie.

[frawniemae]

Mama seems to be getting a bit of her "thinking straight" back. Her GI bleeding has stopped. She's eating a bit more and more often. Kathy seems to think hospice may not be needed at this time. I'm not making any decisions right now about changing that. This roller coaster we've been on for a month now may still have some dips and crazy turns yet. Over all she is doing better but she is still so far away from where she was at Christmas...She knows that it will be near miraculous for her to ever walk again. Kathy is doing her own form of in house rehab (hospice won't do that). So maybe mama will gain some strength back. She seems to be in less pain with her hip but she still has so many other aches and pains in her back due to innumerable small fractures due to the osteoporosis and the fact that she has been moved from side to side so much to keep from having bed sores develop. That is the worst time for her...the rolling. She hasn't given up yet. There are times when she isn't really "here" but I'm not sure just exactly "where" she is at then.

I just go one day at a time. I never know how she'll be when I stop by. "Here" or "there". "In" or "out".

But we're all doing fine otherwise. Thanks for keeping good thought and prayers going up and out!

[Gabby]

Sorry that this is so hard on your mom. :hug2:

One thing that I found out about hospice that I didn't know before was that there are many different philosophies within "hospice." The first group we spoke with turned out to be a "bad fit" but the next call we made was perfect. Some other hospice organization may provide the therapy. Hospice care is comfort care (I had always thought it was death-watch care). If therapy/massage makes the patient comfortable, then most hospice providers will provide it.

[Slitter]

I'm glad to hear she is at least able to eat. It sounds like she is dealing with a fair amount of pain and it'll take strength just to keep even with that.

Sounds like Gabby has a good idea there. It sounds worthwhile to see if there is another hospice option available before you make a decision one way or the other.

:hug2: to you, Frawnie - and share it with your mom if it won't hurt her.

[frawniemae]

Thanks for the idea gabby. I'll ask.

Slitter, real hugs never hurt!;) I'll be sure to pass this one on! ``